Hi hi~

Amazing title, huh? Who in the world announced that they flunked their SPM (high school)?

Some may think my result is 50/50, but to me, it was bad.

Like, bad BAD.

I scored 3 A’s out of 10 subjects. Thankfully, I didn’t fail any subjects and my lowest mark is a C. Hmmm. I’m quite proud of that. Physic, C. YES!

Before I start, I took SPM back in 2015 which was two years ago. I don’t want to start the intro with the ending (which I’ve already did), so let’s go back to 2014; the time I had to choose my major.

I scored 6 A’s and 2 B’s for my PMR (middle school, we were the last batch of PMR candidates) and I know, it sounds bad, but I kinda ran away from the hospital the night before PMR. My mother, my sister and I were down with dengue. Mine was not as bad as my sister, probably, I mean, I’m alive and kicking, alhamdulillah.

All the paperwork was done for me to take the PMR at the hospital, bedridden, but hey, this is Allya we’re talking about here. I want to be with my friends! In the end, with the help of my grandma (who came all the way from Indonesia), I was able to sneak out from the hospital. Dramatic much?

Nah, I didn’t really sneak out. I forced my way out, legally. My dad did all the discharged procedures (a.k.a. paying a huge amount of money to the hospital as they woke-me-up-every-three-hours-to-check-my-conditions-but-ordered-me-to-sleep-and-get-more-rest). The point here is that I wasn’t allowed to be discharged yet, but smarty old me begged those nurses whom I kept calling to my room every now and then so that I have someone to talk to because Allya just can’t stop talking.

That night, I got a good night sleep in my own comfy bed, with no nurses coming back and forth to check my state of health (physically? Good. Mentally? Bad!) Although, my grandma probably didn’t sleep as much xD

In conclusion, I sat for PMR while being heavily drugged to prevent me from collapsing and to numb those under-the-skin itches. That is why I didn’t shed a single tear during the result announcement. During my UPSR (primary school) result announcement day, I cried a river. Pffft… Embarrassing, emotional Allya.

I was actually shocked that I scored that better-than-average result. Back then, most of my friends already went up the stage, while I was lounging around with an almost-crying Lesbong. During the 6 A’s result announcement, my name was called first, then Lesbong’s. If I knew about it, I would’ve dragged that girl along with me. She was a mess! Urrrghhh! After us were Dania and Fahmi (not sure about the order, I kinda forgot), while the rest is history.

Skip forward to January 2014. My second day as a high school student. We had to attend the three days orientation and on the second day, the teachers have assigned us to whatever major they think suits us best. Surprisingly, my name was on the ‘medical doctor’ class, the pure science class; the first class. Only Fahmi and I were the only one with results less than 7 A’s. We were allowed to change majors, and somehow, most of my friends from middle school (who scored less than 7 A’s) apply for the pure science major (they were assigned to the ‘engineer’ class, technical science class), but some of us from the pure science class wanted to be an art major student.

Guess what, we weren’t allowed to change. The reason? The pure science class will be empty (those who applied to pure science class from technical science class wanted to be with their friends. Don’t say that’s not the biggest reason, guys!) and our school will ended up being weird.

To summarize all that, we were actually forced to enter the pure science class. Nevertheless, we’re not blaming our teachers. I am not blaming my teachers. They put me in that class because they know I can excel in that field. I did, actually. I ranked in the top 5 ranking out of the whole school/batch. Unfortunately, that ended during my Form 4 final exams.

I took a break from school for a month. I didn’t do it for fun, I was sick.

My finals were a week after my one-month-sick break. Do you think I’ll study when I was down with such terrible sickness?! No! I did a Naruto marathon. From episode one to Shippuden episode hundred something. I learnt a lot from it, such an amazing anime, with lots of life lesson and A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT of SHIPPING~ Done.

What kind of result do you expect me to get? A 10 out of 10. Hell naaa~ I don’t remember it… But I was still in the top 10 or 20… Whatever.

What I remember though, was my Chemistry result. Starting from the very first Chemistry exam until the last one before finals, my marks were top notch. Not a perfect 100%, but my mark was the highest one. Okay, maybe one of the highest one. Nope, I’m sticking with the highest one to make it more dramatic.

Guess, guess!!! Guess what I got for my Chemistry finals~~~~~~~~~~


A fail, GAGAL!

As much as I love the color red, I hate to see it on my report card. However, I don’t have a report card; a manual one. They’re all available online. So there’s no red pen marking whatsoever; just that annoying ‘G’ which means ‘gagal’ or fail.

My Chemistry teacher ignored me for months. She gave me the stink eye, cold shoulder. It’s my fault anyway, we’re okay now. I am just too adorable (persistent) to be ignored~

Neither did I know that it’ll be downhill from there, for my marks obviously, life was great!

My marks were tumbling down. I was one of my school’s hope, but it went down the drain; just like that. Especially during the SPM result announcement. Our results were so bad, I cried hysterically, not for me, but for my friends.

Now, every time people asked me on what I scored for SPM, most of them were shocked. I’m a dean list student on my campus. During my foundation year, my GPA and CGPA are almost a perfect 4.0; making people questioned my unbelievably bad SPM result.

Nope, I’m not the type to regret anything, as my past shaped me into who I am today. My SPM result is bad, true, but there’s nothing to be ashamed of it. Why you ask? Because I deserve that result.

My whole Form 5 year or my final year in high school was filled with anything but studying. I may be able to get a straight A if I studied, but meh. I have a goal that year and it was not to score well in SPM; it was to have the fun of my life, something I will never get to experience again.

A bad SPM result? You can just repeat it, or go on with your life. But missing out that last high school moment; that’s just sad. Don’t get me wrong, a good SPM result can help you on getting a scholarship and entering a good college, but no one ever tells you about all those fun that you’ll be missing out!

People will only talk about studying and getting a good result on your final year, but how about those good-times memories? Those memories that you can only make during your final moments as a school student. Those memories that you’ll be telling your children and grandchildren.

That is why, I didn’t regret my decision for making that year, all about playing around. I did study, but not much. I laze around more than I clean that 150cmx75cm dusty study table of mine.

My teachers will probably kill me if they read this post, but hey, at least I’m a 4-flat student now! Almost, 4-flat student and most of my friends are dean’s list-ers as well.

I don’t know about the others, but the reason why I got a decent result during my foundation year was because I’m taking something that I want. No one was forcing me to take whatever course they chose, I am the one living my life, so I will decide on which course I’ll take. As I am stepping into a new territory, the only thing I’m familiar about is studying. That’s why I studied, a bit, tehee.

To those who are taking SPM, don’t stress on studying. Be free, rebel, hang out with your friends, and savor those everyday, normal occurrences. A little high school drama here and there can spice up your life; don’t worry, unless you’re just childish, it’ll be nothing but a sweet, stupid memory later on. Study smart, not hard. I used to find that saying ridiculous, but hey, study when you want, don’t force it. Don’t do your homework if you don’t want to, just rest and relax. Unless your teacher is a psychopath, the worse that can happen is being spanked by a cane. Done that, did that. I skipped doing my homework so much; I’ve tasted all kinds of punishments. Aaaah, such memories.

As for those who are waiting for their SPM result, do not worry. Benda dah jadi. It’s not like you can turn back time. Pray to God and leave it to Him to decide, as you’ve did all the effort. If you’re blessed with an amazing result, alhamdulillah, but if not, do not worry, your life is not over yet! There are a lot of other options out there, I’ll be more specific on a different post. Just remember, you’ve done it all. Whether you did your best, or your worst, just like Elsa from Frozen sang, the past is in the past♫♪♪ Don’t forget about the memories you made during that one whole year. No matter how bad it is, there must be some good in it.

This post is getting too long xD I’ll end it here. In the end, I am not ashamed of my ‘flunked’ SPM result, though I am also not proud of it. However, the things, the memories, the life that I experience while not making studying my first priorities are irreplaceable. Things that I did with my decade-long friends and my we-just-met-for-a-year friends are not only in my mind but also my heart. The good ol’ days.


P.S. This is my personal opinion based on my own experience. I’m not judging anyone nor am I dissing SPM. It wasn’t easy for me to make that kind of decision as well. Being an Indonesian living in Malaysia, I always tried my best, not wanting for my country to be dissed. But sometimes, you just got to be selfish and do what you want, as long as you think it through; the pros and the cons.


Making headline.

According to the title, I made a headline somewhere. No guys, it’s not Vogue or Time. Neither are CNN or Berita Harian for that matter (nope, crazy-a**-mocha is not making a comeback anytime soon).

So where and why did I suddenly became a sensation? Well, I became an overnight celebrity for my Primary School teachers. Crazy, I know.

How did I know about this? A few days ago my mother bumped into my primary school teacher and she told my mom on how I became the talk of the town due to my appearance. Nope, I didn’t wear a bikini to my primary school; all I did was dressing up properly and neatly which cause the school to be in a chaos (I think they gossiped about me in their WhatsApp group chat).

According to my teachers, I look hella pretty now. It all started when I went and volunteer for my brother’s Kem Solat. I was wearing an abaya and just a tiny bit of makeup (smoky cat eyes on point!). None of my teachers recognize me but I shooed it off because everyone was busy. After a while, a few teachers acknowledge my existence and can’t stop praising me. Kekekekekeke *insert a disgusting smirking face*. I felt good and happy. I mean, what kind of girl hates being called pretty~

But that happiness didn’t last long. I was teaching those tiny little creature how to solat and a teacher of mine suddenly called me. There’s nothing wrong with my teacher calling me but he called me puan (Mrs.)! Like wth?! You didn’t just call me puan, cikgu!

He was a bit shocked when he saw that it was me but regained his composure by mocking/praising me. -_-“

That is not all. When they called the volunteers name, they added puan to my name. Basically I became Puan Allya Muchaerany that day. Too bad, didn’t have an encik (Mr.) though.

Next, there’s the sports’ day. I became the MC, my worse performance ever! An old teacher of mine sat next to me and he called me puan. I glared at him. I told him I was his student and my name is Allya freaking Muchaerany minus the puan. Guess what, he was shocked and can’t stop mumbling I have no idea what.

I was embarrassed enough and he had to tell everyone *rolling my eyes ’till it went to heaven*. On that day, I became the main attention. Forget the children running around and screaming. Everyone, teachers or not kept ogling me like I’m a some kind of exhibition stuff.

Well, the good side is that they keep on praising me. Tehehehehehehe~~~

Also, I chatted with a teacher of mine who I last met 8/9 years ago. She praised me as well. A goodie two shoes I am, I told her it’s the makeup xD

Okay this post makes me sound like I’m bragging to the world about myself but here is the thing!

Every time I went to my primary school event, I always looked ugly. Like freaking ugly! Bloated eyes, nose full of pores, rough skin texture and so on. When they kept calling me pretty, all I can think was

Hell, was I that ugly before?! You called me pretty when I’m on my ‘bad’ days so how ugly was I before? OMG!!! *making Edvard Munch’s scream painting face*.

Ah right, I used to be very tan, have small eyes, nerdy face, blotched skin and was fat (you’re fatter now). Some teachers even asked me whether I got a job done to my face. RUDE.

I still have my flat nose, my eyes look big because I discard my glasses, my skin is fairer than before because of puberty and my face looks different because of makeup. Seriously! Ah and my smile didn’t change guys, from birth to now and forever.

Tck, I’m happy yet annoyed. Kah!


My Scream face. Even the mask is prettier than me -_-

 See, that my-teeth-is-big-look-at-them smile; it didn’t change xD