According to the title, I made a headline somewhere. No guys, it’s not Vogue or Time. Neither are CNN or Berita Harian for that matter (nope, crazy-a**-mocha is not making a comeback anytime soon).
So where and why did I suddenly became a sensation? Well, I became an overnight celebrity for my Primary School teachers. Crazy, I know.
How did I know about this? A few days ago my mother bumped into my primary school teacher and she told my mom on how I became the talk of the town due to my appearance. Nope, I didn’t wear a bikini to my primary school; all I did was dressing up properly and neatly which cause the school to be in a chaos (I think they gossiped about me in their WhatsApp group chat).
According to my teachers, I look hella pretty now. It all started when I went and volunteer for my brother’s Kem Solat. I was wearing an abaya and just a tiny bit of makeup (smoky cat eyes on point!). None of my teachers recognize me but I shooed it off because everyone was busy. After a while, a few teachers acknowledge my existence and can’t stop praising me. Kekekekekeke *insert a disgusting smirking face*. I felt good and happy. I mean, what kind of girl hates being called pretty~
But that happiness didn’t last long. I was teaching those tiny little creature how to solat and a teacher of mine suddenly called me. There’s nothing wrong with my teacher calling me but he called me puan (Mrs.)! Like wth?! You didn’t just call me puan, cikgu!
He was a bit shocked when he saw that it was me but regained his composure by mocking/praising me. -_-“
That is not all. When they called the volunteers name, they added puan to my name. Basically I became Puan Allya Muchaerany that day. Too bad, didn’t have an encik (Mr.) though.
Next, there’s the sports’ day. I became the MC, my worse performance ever! An old teacher of mine sat next to me and he called me puan. I glared at him. I told him I was his student and my name is Allya freaking Muchaerany minus the puan. Guess what, he was shocked and can’t stop mumbling I have no idea what.
I was embarrassed enough and he had to tell everyone *rolling my eyes ’till it went to heaven*. On that day, I became the main attention. Forget the children running around and screaming. Everyone, teachers or not kept ogling me like I’m a some kind of exhibition stuff.
Well, the good side is that they keep on praising me. Tehehehehehehe~~~
Also, I chatted with a teacher of mine who I last met 8/9 years ago. She praised me as well. A goodie two shoes I am, I told her it’s the makeup xD
Okay this post makes me sound like I’m bragging to the world about myself but here is the thing!
Every time I went to my primary school event, I always looked ugly. Like freaking ugly! Bloated eyes, nose full of pores, rough skin texture and so on. When they kept calling me pretty, all I can think was
Hell, was I that ugly before?! You called me pretty when I’m on my ‘bad’ days so how ugly was I before? OMG!!! *making Edvard Munch’s scream painting face*.
Ah right, I used to be very tan, have small eyes, nerdy face, blotched skin and was fat (you’re fatter now). Some teachers even asked me whether I got a job done to my face. RUDE.
I still have my flat nose, my eyes look big because I discard my glasses, my skin is fairer than before because of puberty and my face looks different because of makeup. Seriously! Ah and my smile didn’t change guys, from birth to now and forever.
Tck, I’m happy yet annoyed. Kah!
See, that my-teeth-is-big-look-at-them smile; it didn’t change xD