Past – Future

Hi hi~

I’m back in Malaysia, finally! But I have to go back to Indonesia in two weeks. Hiks. This was not the original post I wanted to publish, but oh well~

I just arrived home after meeting a school buddy of mine. It has been around six months since I last met this friend. We talked and talked. Thanks to that, I am now sitting in my room, writing this post with a relieved heart.

True, I did receive a not so good news from this friend of mine, but there’s just something calming about meeting an old buddy. I’ve realized this for quite some time now; my school friends are my happy pills.


Befriending them was not a choice, but staying in contact with them, thinking about them, praying for them, they’re all mine to decide. A friend or two may have scarce themselves, but the rest are still bonding and I hope we will still be so in the future, aamiin.

I wrote about this in one of my previous post, about how much my school friends meant to me. Graduating from high school was a blast, but it also left an empty spot in my heart, thus when I met one of them, the spot healed. We didn’t do much, didn’t spend much.

I’ve found my stress reliever.

I can talk as much as I want ✔

I can be myself  ✔

I can hear about the latest gossip (about my friends) ✔

Also, you can just meet up with them anywhere and anytime (as long as both parties are free). Although it’s not exactly the same; it’ll be like the past.

I am hoping, as much as I love these annoying creatures, how much I care for them, how much I cherish them; they’ll think of me in the same way. It’s fine if they don’t, it’s fine if they have someone else, as long as they’re happy, s’all good.

Gosh, I sound so creepy xD It’s like reading an obsessed fan’s fan letter xD

Dear future Allya, if you’re reading this, do remember on how much these people meant to you. Once in a blue moon, taking them for granted is fine and letting go of those who want to be let go is also fine, but no matter what, probably, half of your great and joyful memories are filled with them.

The PAST, the reason why I am how I am today. Filled with joy and sorrow, but a never-ending care. The place where I seek comfort in.

The PRESENT, the good and the bad. My motivator and Achilles heels. The place where I seek comfort in.

The FUTURE, the reason why I am striving hard. For wanting everyone to succeed and live a peaceful life. The place where I seek comfort in.

As you can see, other than my family, they’re the one I want to find comfort in. I find people who want to get rid of their high school memories as dummies. No matter how painful school life was, there’s always a happy moment (unless you’re a pessimist, no offense to pessimist out there) and you have to thank those experience as they make you who you are today. And your children will be that pitiful soul who never get to meet their parent’s school friends, meaning, they will have less life-experience talk. Boring.

You learn from the past. The happy can be kept, for it to be open on a bad day and the sad can be a lesson, to make you wiser.

One of the key to be successful is to see a silver lining in every dark cloud. I am not a successful person myself, but I pat myself on the back for being able to see the good in everything. It lowers the stress level and you’ll feel like you’re walking on a flower petals road (anime style, with petals flying everywhere and pop! Your destined love is in front of you) because your heart is filled with positive energy.

I should stop, this is getting nowhere.

Again, one of my biggest wish is for us (my school friends and I) to stay close forever, in hoping, everyone will succeed together and we can finally brag about it. Just kidding! Let us all be billionaires who will succeed in life and Jannah! Let’s be that crazy group of alumnus that will rock the world~


P.S. I am no perfect friend myself. Sometimes, even when I know my friends are in trouble, I didn’t do much. I am not ignoring them, but sometimes I heard their problems from other people. Unless it’s life-threatening, I don’t want to bother their life unless they want me to. As burdensome my life is (trust me, I’m kinda like burden-free these days), there will always be a space for your shenanigans, my friends. I’ve been making this ‘room’ for more than a decade, so there should be enough space for everyone (unless all of you decided to become serial killers, this one I can’t help xD)


Triggered Memories

Hi hi~

A few minutes ago, I finished watching this one movie. The movie was divided into a few movies(?) or so. I sound so dumb, but yeah. The last part of the movie was out, watched it, disappointed, though, I shed tears during the ending.

There is this one movie that I have been wanting to watch since I was 15. It was a spin off from a book which I’ve known since the young age of 13, but I only began reading it during my last year of middle school. Cici/Ardella, my darling BFF read it first, then she told me it was a fine, fine book. You freak! That thing is not something a 15 years old should read! Oh well, who cares.

The both of us become obsessed with it! We’ve probably read the book a gazillion times. We practically memorized the whole series. You have no idea how excited we were when we found out that a movie was in the making. From the casting to the first shooting and to the private life of the actors. We knew it all. We were screwed, in a way.

The first movie was released in 2015. We were 17, Cici and I went to different schools, as usual, but we were like monkeys! Jumping up and down, enthusiastic as the premiere date was getting closer. Nevertheless, heaven brought its peace upon us. To prevent two crazy 17 y/o girls to watch such movie, it was banned in Malaysia. I know you can probably guess the movie by now. It’s my favourite book, uoolllsss!

Bla bla bla

As usual, I’m not really fond of the movie premiere. So there I was, sitting, laying down watching the last part of the trilogy, the cut one, thus resulting in a very disappointed Allya. It was fun, I was laughing, literally reciting each line in the movie (memorized the whole book), but during the ending, I cried.

My favourite song was playing (from the movie) and they played back those clips from the first movie until the last. You see, I have a very terrible, troublesome, annoyingly annoying case of saying goodbyes. I hate goodbyes. I’m bad with it. Especially when it gave me lots of memories.

As they playback the memories-clip thingy, my own memories started to move, it geared up. Yes, memories are machines xD

I remember those days where I read that book during those long but packed morning assemblies. I remember the time I told my classmates on how good those books actually are, if you look at it from a different perspective. How they made fun of me, how I made fun of them back, how we insulted each other’s fetishes.

Talking about how college life will be? How working life will be? How marriage life will be?

Other than the last part, all of us have now experienced it. From that same-cycle-everyday student to a never-the-same-event-in-a-row kind of person; my classmates and I have grown. We’ve experienced things we never knew existed. We meet new people, there’s also a new environment, new tasks. Nevertheless, by the end of the day, your school friends are just there for you; no matter how hard you tried to remove them.

As you’re reading this, you must think, ‘This girl is crazy, you can’t have that much connection with your school friends.’ But hey, we’re just close, alhamdulillah.

Look at it this way, you’ve been seeing that person for a decade, every single day, yes, sometimes even during the weekends. You talk to them, you laugh with them, you fight with them, you experience grief and sorrow, but also pure bliss, happiness. One day, bam, they’re just gone and you’re out of your comfort zone. Unless you’re just an oddball, you’ll miss that weird, tingly sensation of being with those forced-to-be-friends-but-ended-up-being-our-good-friends-since-we-see-each-other-everyday friends. What?…

I love college, I really do, but there is just something about being with your school friends. The last time you met them was a year ago, maybe, but there is no tension, no awkwardness. It feels comfortable, calming, stress-free; unless there’s a drama going, which will not be cute anymore as we’re 20 y/o this year.

Whenever I feel stressed out about life, I reached out to them. They’re my comfort zone, as creepy as it sounds, I’m so going to stick with you forever, guys! I will leach on like a parasite, remember Science Form 3? Yeah, I’m going to be that.

As this book and movie have been with me for quite sometimes; my friends have been with me for a long time. The memories I have, good and bad, they made me who I am today. You can’t just get rid of it and I don’t want to. My stories with them are a tale which I want to pass on to my children, possibly to my grandchildren as well. My whole life was filled with them, they play a huge part in my life, other than my family.

I don’t miss that everyday-school routine, but I do miss their laughs, their jokes, their sassiness, their dumbness, their everything. I’m holding back my tears as I’m typing this post.

This movie was supposed to be my happy pill, but why do I feel sad? Then I remembered, my schoolmates are my happy pills, this movie reminds me of them. A group of people whom I used meet every day without a doubt, but now, we can only see each other in the cyber world. After all, we are CYBERjaya’s graduates. *laughing at my own puns*

The movie may disappoint me, but the ending did its justice. It made me realize on how important memories can be. They’re my treasure, they made me grow, and they taught me love do extend beyond family members.

My schoolmates, I am blessed with such an amazing group of friends. I hope we can create our own legacy and help those who are in need. As everyone is special in a different kind of way, let’s create an empire!

Fighting! And I miss you guys, a lot! ❤




Becoming too ‘manja’

Who? Who became annoyingly spoilt? Tehee~ It’s me.

I am not one to ‘mengada’ with people. I don’t mind people being all clingy, acting like a baby, but for Thor’s sake; I don’t do those things. Well, at least not before.

To summarize it all, before college, I was the guardian angel/Satan’s mistress to people around me. They’ll seek me for comfort and asked for advice (tho most of the time, I’m the source of their agony), they belief in me (not trust) and most importantly, my friends know that Allya the big sister will always be there for them; to protect them.

If they got into a fight, I’ll beat up whoever the opponent was (even when my friends are wrong. Bad, I know. Am extremely bias), when someone said bad things about my friends, I’ll make sure that person who bad-mouthed them will suffer for the rest of their life (only I can talk bad about my friends) and when we’re out in the cold world, I will make sure everyone was safe. I’ll walk on the side-nearest-to-the road path, I’ll make sure I’ll be hit first when crossing the road,  I’ll bring all of those heavy things; I’ll protect them from harm’s way.

Although, it all changed when I entered college. Particularly, during my semester 2. I am treated like a princess. Maybe it’s a normal thing, but I do feel flattered by whatever they are all doing. Alhamdulillah, I’m blessed with guy friends who are total gentlemen. Never once, those male in my campus ever let me bring heavy things. They care for me like how a girl is suppose to be treated. I mean, I’m not saying that the guys from school are bad, they’re adorable, but maybe they’re just used to see me as someone who’ll protect them; not one to be protected.

Sadly, I became too comfortable with this whole situation. When I met my school friends, I get offended by what they did or said. The old Allya wouldn’t mind about it at all. Heck, she’ll probably laugh it off without feeling bad. However, the current Allya almost cried.

When facing a troublesome situation, the girl who not only collected herself, but are also leading 800 people; she was shaking when answering the phone. I mean, I get it if I’m shaking because I lied, but I was blurting out the truth for God sake! I kept blabbering; ‘uhhhmmm’ was often said as much as I inhale. Ergh! The old me can tell you a story about some person’s life; a non-existence person while sounding like that person is my best friend! (not something that I should be proud of, but you get the point yeah)

She is becoming softer and more sensitive. I should get myself together. Gotta find that old Allya back (only the positive sides please). I love being pampered by people around me, but I should not delude myself. Okay, delude is not the word, but whatever xD

True, I love being treated like a woman, but I shouldn’t be mean to friends who didn’t treat me as such. It’s not their fault, they know the old Allya, not the new. So I can’t blame them for that. Regardless, I love all of my friends!

❤ ❤ ❤ Love you all lots! ❤ ❤ ❤


P.S. I know this is a random thing to write. I just feel like writing, that’s all. Again, bear with me please xD

P.P.S. I am becoming too dependent on Pres as well. Before, everyone was depending on me; the ever so independent woman. Now, I’m disgusted at how much I depend on Pres. No offense Pres, none of them are your fault. I love being your VP, you treat me well and thanks to you, I get to experience being a follower, leaded by a great person. But gurl, you gotta get yourself together and rule on! Oppps, I mean live on~

1st Hari Guru…

As an alumniiiii~~~

Hi hi~

It’s been a relaxing couple of days, but hell is going start next week… Or should I say, this week. Whatever, gonna enjoy what I have now.

Last Friday, SMK Cyberjaya (SMKC) a.k.a. my old high school, held their annual Teacher’s Day celebration. My friends and I went there to take our SPM certificates, while we’re at it; crashing their party. I arrived at seven in the morning because I was too lazy to go back and forth from Putrajaya to Cyberjaya. Ate my breakfast at the canteen and krik krik. Awkward silence. I didn’t recognize anyone…

What did I do?

I went to my infamous hangout place, bilik guru. I’m a regular there you see, I don’t give a damn about that ‘Pelajar dilarang masuk kecuali ketua kelas’ sign. Ehem self-declare ehem ketua pelajar ehem.

It was hanged in front of the bilik guru door. So sweet lah these students~

Went inside, saw my teachers and voila~ I became their makeup artist for the day. This year’s theme was 1001 Arabian Nights, so everyone was busy doing their Arabian eye makeup. Too much words, let’s see the photos should we.

I did some of their makeup and dang, they look good! *self-praising on point*

We didn’t have that backdrop before! #seniorjealous
They’ve also changed the class signs. No more individual classes, all are according-by-subject classes
Our DA BOMB teacher, Cikgu Rozie’s photo is placed on the right side of the stairs and trust me when I say, IT IS FREAKING BIG! Sampai bila-bila tak kan lupa xD

After following my teachers ‘berarak’ to the hall, I was asked to sit down on the chair. The mighty chair!!! I don’t have to sit on the floor, I sat on the legendary blue chair!!! I freaked out xD I mean c’mon, it was a formal event and I don’t have to sit on the floor! Jakun okeh! Hahahahahaha xD

Bla bla bla, sorry juniors, it was boring…

None of my friends arrived yet. I talked to some people and teachers, that’s all I can do anyway.

At 9ish, the boys from Putrajaya came. We took our certificates and wait for the others to come. Boooorriiiiing… But I missed them, so it’s bearable. The girls came, then the other girl came and the other girl. We went inside the hall to meet the teachers. The boys were scared at first, they don’t want to be judge. Neither do they know that they’ll be praised by the teachers. Anak tiri remember.

Those who came minus Stepha and Rizq.

We bid our goodbyes, we went to eat lunch. We walked a lot, I mean it’s quite far, not. Guess what, the restaurant closed due to an unknown reason. I craved their butter chicken! Too baaaad. We decided to go to mamak. That’s when Danial and Amira went wild. They exchanged cars, but Amira forgot to give the key to Danial. He then chased his car which was being driven by Amira, with the help of Emir’s motorbike. It was stupid as usual. Zan, Stepha and I were being roasted inside the car. Cyberjaya is waaaaaaaay hotter than Kelana Jaya. Heatstroke~~~

Bla bla bla, we ate our lunch and voila~ Ended. Actually there’s more stories, but teheeee~ Biarlah rahasia~~~

It may not seem like a big deal, but meeting them was a break. I do love my housemates, but campus life was a bit stressful and all I see was their faces. Tidur muka tu, bangun pun muka tu. Serabut sikit.

Meeting old friends are a treat. It brings you down the memory lane, a great occasional trip that everyone needs to join. Lesson learnt on that day, go and meet your old friends more often. Its impact can be greater than you thought it’ll be.

Though I can’t meet them all, I’ve released some of my pent-up sappy self. Teheeee~

Love you guys, xoxo.





Miss them all



Now is ‘that’ time of the month where my hormones are all over the place and Nana just had to send me those videos. Those videos contain our pictures from our F5 year and my tears just won’t stop (liar, you saw Park Bo Geum and you smiled instantly. 10 years of friendships forgotten :P)

It makes me realize something. When we were in school, our teachers and parents often told us to enjoy our school life. Back then, I know that I’ll feel sad; leaving my friends and all. What I didn’t know is that I will feel this sad.

Heart tearing kind of pain.

Truth to be told, I don’t miss school at all. I love college life more than school life. I just miss my friends.

Always taking my friends for granted. Now that we don’t meet each other often, I tend to remember unimportant-small-detail kind of things. Like when Aiza cooked a freaking salty fried chicken or when Zan told me stupid jokes (I didn’t find it funny before, but now I do xD)

I think my class felt the loss more than other classes. Most of us had been spending time together; almost everyday for the past 10 years. I’ve always told myself not to get too attached, but I never listen to my advice. I mean, who listen their own advices -_-

Hearing their laughs, seeing their smiles, being punished together, those stupid silly fights TT^TT

(still fighting now, though they’re not silly anymore)

Although if I were to be given a chance to turn back time; I won’t do it. Though I miss my friends, school sucks. Big time. Meeeh~ I can still meet my friends now, though not as much as before. School however, I don’t want to go through it again.

My school life was not that bad. I wasn’t bullied (you’re the bully, Allya), I scored well (uuhmm… I guess failing a few subjects are ok), I was the teachers’ pet (you’re their gossip buddy) and was loved by my juniors (you were a cruel evil leader. Of course they love you -_-)

See, not bad at all. Hahahahaha xD Kidding guys, I love my school life. I just don’t want to repeat the process of waking up at 5 a.m. and going back from school at 7 p.m. all over again. Macam tak ada life.

Woke up early – went to school – going back home, late – doing those homework (you never done them, girl) – then sleep.

It’s on repeat, every single day like going through the same playlist everyday without using the shuffle mode.

I stayed strong thanks to my friends, I guess. Meh, not really. They just fill in some of my free time xD

I love my current life. I love college life. I love my new friends. Despite all that, there’s always an empty void in my heart that can’t replace them (need to find a boyfriend ASAP!!!) but I guess you can’t have everything, right?


P.S. Deep in my heart, I’m hoping that all of us will be stuck in the same company (I’m the CEO please XD) and ended up being neighbours while our children are classmates. Aaaah, such an impossible thing. Or is it? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Kekekekeke~