They were mad, freaking mad at me; Nana and Nody. Hell, Nana wants to kill me the next time we see each other. So why are they trying to kill me? Well…

As you all know, my life was a bit hectic for the past few months and I was a softie, unlike my usual old self. Nody didn’t say it straight to my ace, only Nana did, for now; but according to Nana, Nody was furious. The both of them are nonchalant type of  people. They don’t care about how others are, but the fact that Nana screamed into my ear about my health, both mentally and physically; I know that I’m screwed.

You worried about others too much!

You don’t care about yourself!

Stop pushing yourself to the limit will you!

When Nana called me, Kink and Pres was near. I even asked them to confirm it to her that I love going to the doctor. She ‘ugut’ me, saying that she will call my mom if this keep on going. She kept shutting my mouth and kept ‘membebel’ until my ear bled.

Although, I wasn’t mad. I actually feel sad. Those two, especially Nana, don’t really care much, but the fact that she reached her limit and blew up… Yeah… I think I should slow down. No, I will slow down. This happened, that happened. Not only those two, my other friends are annoyed/worried at me. Even the I-do-not-care-about-the-world Syamiel was pissed at me. Pen was annoyed, his girfriend whom I just met and see only once was worried about me. Ardella is of course, being Cici, was acting cool about it, but I know that she’s hurting to see me like this.

I don’t feel tired, no, I feel tired, but it’s bearable. Though according to people around me, I should stop. Obviously, I can,t stop, though I’ll try to lessen my bussyness. C’mon guys, you know how I am. I’ll also be the old cruel Allya back. The kind of person who orders people around, being bossy and all.

I guess I was being selfish. I kept telling myself to be strong for others, but in the end, I ended up worrying them. I’ll be stronger and I will lean on people more now. Love yaaa~



Roti NAN on the loose~

We kinda lost our mind a ‘bit’

Roti NAN, created by accidents. The members are me, Nana and Nody.


Those two are my closest friends in school. Nana is my BFF after Cici (Ardella) and Nody is my crime-in-partner when it comes to books.

We’ve been keeping this secret for sometime now. The secret about the existence of the group. After coming out like this, it feels like a burden has been lifted from my shoulder.

Huuuh… Finally…



Cutting off Bonds.

Just finished my assignments or tasks or whatever you called them. I can finally login into my account guys!!! That’s why I finished them all. Sorry Chang Wook, dear. I gotta set my priority straight.

So cutting bonds. Whose bonds did I cut? Myself. It sounded kinda weird, but let’s just say that you get it.

Everyone have a group of friends that you’re close too. As for me, I have this group of friends called Yeoseot. Belle. Hana. (Y.B.H.), whom I have known for the past decade. Though we became close just recently; 5 years ish or so. If you’re my other decade long friends then I’m sure that you know who those 6 people are. Sadly, it is down to 5 people only.

You know how they say to remove those who are toxic for you. That is what I did. Basically 4/5 person in that group (including me) are not really fond of her and of course they made me the bad guy; to cut the relationship.

That person, she is a great friend. She was there when everyone hated me, she was there when I needed some help and so on.

No matter how many kindness you do, that one tiny black spot will covers everything.

Truth is I’ve been patient with her for quite some time now. I had a huge fight with her last year. When the class ‘neutral’ person is suddenly engaged in a fight; it’s not pretty.

Like I said, she’s great. Really great, but she is different than us. Okay this sounds cruel, but we didn’t remove her because of her different-ness. This person, she is too pessimist and too sarcastic. Fine, even I’m sarcastic, but her sarcastic-ness knows no bound.

For example, a friend in that group sent a funny question. I don’t know about others out there, but the 5 of us minus her answered it without any question. It’s a freaking joke for heaven sake! Not a tricky science question or anything.

She asked too much. She hates taking chances. She doesn’t want any wrong choice. She just doesn’t know how to have fun! I love her, I really do. Heck my classmates hated asking for her help since she asked too much. The 5 of us have done lots of things to make her realize that ‘bad’ quality about her, but it’s not working. She became worse after entering college. I don’t know, maybe her college friends love that attitude of her.

Once, twice, okay, we can handle it. But if a person is still acting the same way even after being told about their annoyingness for 3 years straight, that I have no idea. We’ve told her lots of times and did lots of things. Basically for her; it’s our entire fault and not hers *exaggerated eye roll*.

She gets mad when we didn’t tell her anything, but if we told it; she’ll just said,

“That’s all?”

No freaking reaction, heck a sarcastic comment is better.

When she was in the group, two of my closest friends and I created a new group. Roti NAN. Those two in the group are my closest friends in school. One of them is my best friend after Ardella.

That group sticks until now. We talked about more intimates things there, while talked about general things at Y.B.H.

We may sound cruel, leaving her alone. Trust me, we don’t need a person who’ll ruin our morning by their antics. We decided to stay friends with her. Just friends, no special attachment. This way, we will not increase the amount of our sins for getting annoyed at her.

When we cut our bonds, we were hoping that she’ll change into a better person. I hope that she’ll change. She’s a great, beautiful and talented person. We may be able to handle her but what about the people outside?

You can’t expect them to accept your opinion; only your opinion. As we grow up, we have to learn to let go of our ego and accepts people’s opinion even though it’s different than us. We don’t have to acknowledge it, just act like you accept it. As long it’s not contrary with your religions and beliefs, you should learn to accept the fact that not everyone think like you.

What I learn from this incident; I have to let go those who are toxics. I probably have enough sins to last me a lifetime and I don’t need someone who will add my sins.

I hope that she’ll find better friends than we are.

You must remember, even if you’re not perfect to us; you may be perfect for others. I hope you’ll find that group of people, so that you wouldn’t have to oppress yourself. Let’s just keep those lovely memories only, yeah.

That is all.