Past – Future

Hi hi~

I’m back in Malaysia, finally! But I have to go back to Indonesia in two weeks. Hiks. This was not the original post I wanted to publish, but oh well~

I just arrived home after meeting a school buddy of mine. It has been around six months since I last met this friend. We talked and talked. Thanks to that, I am now sitting in my room, writing this post with a relieved heart.

True, I did receive a not so good news from this friend of mine, but there’s just something calming about meeting an old buddy. I’ve realized this for quite some time now; my school friends are my happy pills.


Befriending them was not a choice, but staying in contact with them, thinking about them, praying for them, they’re all mine to decide. A friend or two may have scarce themselves, but the rest are still bonding and I hope we will still be so in the future, aamiin.

I wrote about this in one of my previous post, about how much my school friends meant to me. Graduating from high school was a blast, but it also left an empty spot in my heart, thus when I met one of them, the spot healed. We didn’t do much, didn’t spend much.

I’ve found my stress reliever.

I can talk as much as I want ✔

I can be myself  ✔

I can hear about the latest gossip (about my friends) ✔

Also, you can just meet up with them anywhere and anytime (as long as both parties are free). Although it’s not exactly the same; it’ll be like the past.

I am hoping, as much as I love these annoying creatures, how much I care for them, how much I cherish them; they’ll think of me in the same way. It’s fine if they don’t, it’s fine if they have someone else, as long as they’re happy, s’all good.

Gosh, I sound so creepy xD It’s like reading an obsessed fan’s fan letter xD

Dear future Allya, if you’re reading this, do remember on how much these people meant to you. Once in a blue moon, taking them for granted is fine and letting go of those who want to be let go is also fine, but no matter what, probably, half of your great and joyful memories are filled with them.

The PAST, the reason why I am how I am today. Filled with joy and sorrow, but a never-ending care. The place where I seek comfort in.

The PRESENT, the good and the bad. My motivator and Achilles heels. The place where I seek comfort in.

The FUTURE, the reason why I am striving hard. For wanting everyone to succeed and live a peaceful life. The place where I seek comfort in.

As you can see, other than my family, they’re the one I want to find comfort in. I find people who want to get rid of their high school memories as dummies. No matter how painful school life was, there’s always a happy moment (unless you’re a pessimist, no offense to pessimist out there) and you have to thank those experience as they make you who you are today. And your children will be that pitiful soul who never get to meet their parent’s school friends, meaning, they will have less life-experience talk. Boring.

You learn from the past. The happy can be kept, for it to be open on a bad day and the sad can be a lesson, to make you wiser.

One of the key to be successful is to see a silver lining in every dark cloud. I am not a successful person myself, but I pat myself on the back for being able to see the good in everything. It lowers the stress level and you’ll feel like you’re walking on a flower petals road (anime style, with petals flying everywhere and pop! Your destined love is in front of you) because your heart is filled with positive energy.

I should stop, this is getting nowhere.

Again, one of my biggest wish is for us (my school friends and I) to stay close forever, in hoping, everyone will succeed together and we can finally brag about it. Just kidding! Let us all be billionaires who will succeed in life and Jannah! Let’s be that crazy group of alumnus that will rock the world~


P.S. I am no perfect friend myself. Sometimes, even when I know my friends are in trouble, I didn’t do much. I am not ignoring them, but sometimes I heard their problems from other people. Unless it’s life-threatening, I don’t want to bother their life unless they want me to. As burdensome my life is (trust me, I’m kinda like burden-free these days), there will always be a space for your shenanigans, my friends. I’ve been making this ‘room’ for more than a decade, so there should be enough space for everyone (unless all of you decided to become serial killers, this one I can’t help xD)


Reminiscing Old Times

Hi hi~

I know, I know. I promised that the next post will be about my sleep over with Pavi, but things are hectic and yeah. I’ll just write about it, next time.

So, I was scrolling down my old blog because I want to convert them to PDF; for the sake of memories. I cried, I laughed, I cringed, yes, mostly cringed.

OMG! I remember that day!

Gosh, the hell was I thinking?!

I can’t believe they did that?!


Wuaaaaaa!!! I miss those dorks! TT^TT

Those are some of the scenarios. One thing for sure though, I was so immature back then. Especially when it comes to my love life. Pfftt.

Like I always said, I’m screwed when Allya-the-love-struck-idiot is back. The 24/7 tomato-red Allya, submissive Allya, I-can-not-see-him-without-blushing-even-though-he-is-1-km-away Allya, the ever-so-stuttering Allya, the my-self-esteem-is-all-over-the-floor Allya. Dear God, it is so not me!

My writings, don’t get me started about my grammar.


My grammar is way better now, comparing to before. The qualities of those posts are terrible as well. Not to mention those photos! UGLY was tattooed all over my forehead! I want to delete them all, but knowing that my school friends like to read it sometimes (and bloody cried); I’ll just keep it for old times’ sake.

Eeeergh, I’m still cringing. How did I manage to wake up at 4 a.m. to make some packed lunch for me, hoping that Syamiel will praise my cooking?! Stupid Allya! The present Allya will even skip her exam for some sleep! What is wrong with you, young lady?! You’ll forget him in a few years time, and ended up being best buddies (more like insulting buddy).

There are those stupid school dramas. Why Allya? Why?!

Hahahahaha xD

Nevertheless, it made me who I am today. My past may not be filled with rainbows and golds, but they’re a part of me. Something that I will not trade for anything in the world. I’m thankful for those who are still with me now, but those who left; you’re still in my mind.



Making headline.

According to the title, I made a headline somewhere. No guys, it’s not Vogue or Time. Neither are CNN or Berita Harian for that matter (nope, crazy-a**-mocha is not making a comeback anytime soon).

So where and why did I suddenly became a sensation? Well, I became an overnight celebrity for my Primary School teachers. Crazy, I know.

How did I know about this? A few days ago my mother bumped into my primary school teacher and she told my mom on how I became the talk of the town due to my appearance. Nope, I didn’t wear a bikini to my primary school; all I did was dressing up properly and neatly which cause the school to be in a chaos (I think they gossiped about me in their WhatsApp group chat).

According to my teachers, I look hella pretty now. It all started when I went and volunteer for my brother’s Kem Solat. I was wearing an abaya and just a tiny bit of makeup (smoky cat eyes on point!). None of my teachers recognize me but I shooed it off because everyone was busy. After a while, a few teachers acknowledge my existence and can’t stop praising me. Kekekekekeke *insert a disgusting smirking face*. I felt good and happy. I mean, what kind of girl hates being called pretty~

But that happiness didn’t last long. I was teaching those tiny little creature how to solat and a teacher of mine suddenly called me. There’s nothing wrong with my teacher calling me but he called me puan (Mrs.)! Like wth?! You didn’t just call me puan, cikgu!

He was a bit shocked when he saw that it was me but regained his composure by mocking/praising me. -_-“

That is not all. When they called the volunteers name, they added puan to my name. Basically I became Puan Allya Muchaerany that day. Too bad, didn’t have an encik (Mr.) though.

Next, there’s the sports’ day. I became the MC, my worse performance ever! An old teacher of mine sat next to me and he called me puan. I glared at him. I told him I was his student and my name is Allya freaking Muchaerany minus the puan. Guess what, he was shocked and can’t stop mumbling I have no idea what.

I was embarrassed enough and he had to tell everyone *rolling my eyes ’till it went to heaven*. On that day, I became the main attention. Forget the children running around and screaming. Everyone, teachers or not kept ogling me like I’m a some kind of exhibition stuff.

Well, the good side is that they keep on praising me. Tehehehehehehe~~~

Also, I chatted with a teacher of mine who I last met 8/9 years ago. She praised me as well. A goodie two shoes I am, I told her it’s the makeup xD

Okay this post makes me sound like I’m bragging to the world about myself but here is the thing!

Every time I went to my primary school event, I always looked ugly. Like freaking ugly! Bloated eyes, nose full of pores, rough skin texture and so on. When they kept calling me pretty, all I can think was

Hell, was I that ugly before?! You called me pretty when I’m on my ‘bad’ days so how ugly was I before? OMG!!! *making Edvard Munch’s scream painting face*.

Ah right, I used to be very tan, have small eyes, nerdy face, blotched skin and was fat (you’re fatter now). Some teachers even asked me whether I got a job done to my face. RUDE.

I still have my flat nose, my eyes look big because I discard my glasses, my skin is fairer than before because of puberty and my face looks different because of makeup. Seriously! Ah and my smile didn’t change guys, from birth to now and forever.

Tck, I’m happy yet annoyed. Kah!


My Scream face. Even the mask is prettier than me -_-

 See, that my-teeth-is-big-look-at-them smile; it didn’t change xD