She’s coming back

She’s coming back

She, who I am scared of

She who can ruin

She who can shake

She who will change me.

Who is this ‘she’ that I’m scared of? I’m not really scared of her, but whatever.

She is me, as in the old Allya. The Allya that my school friends knew about and the Allya that my univ. friends will definitely hate; some of them. She was asleep for more than a year and somehow, she’s waking up from her deep slumber. The reason? My busy and hectic life.

She’s giving me signs. My icy glares are back. My unfiltered mouth replaced my ever-so-polite one. The I-don’t-give-a-damn-about-people’s-feeling-when-doing-work is showing. My strength. That bored stare = meanest bitch face ever. Basically, Cruella de Allya is back and there’s no way of stopping her.

For the past one years-ish, I was a calm person.

  • You didn’t do your work? Fine, I forgive you.
  • You’re my friend, so yeah; I will be lenient to you.
  • Ouh, you don’t have enough time to do your report? It’s okay, I’ll extend the deadline.

All of those are bullshit! My school friends will puke if they see that side of me. I mean c’mon, they’ve been with me for a decade long and all they’ve seen is Cruella de Allya; only when it comes to serious matters.

  • You didn’t do your work? F-off, get loss!
  • So what if you’re my friend? Work is work and friend is friend. Separate your work and private life, please.
  • You little piece of ****! What do you mean by, “I don’t have time to do the report?” You think I’m not busy? Heck! I’m juggling three events in one time and you can’t even write one report for one freaking event?!

I don’t know why Allya The Witch suddenly disappeared. She just fades away, until a few days ago… Amyr, Farrel, Daryl and I were having a meeting about the charity run.

Daryl made a joke, I freaking glared at him.

Amyr was being sappy and I told him whatever was going through my mind without filtering them.

For Farrel, she has seen Cruella de Allya a few times and she is cool with it because she knows how to separate professional life and private life. That’s what I love about her, though the two guys were probably quite shocked xD

I’m known to be a proper lady, hate cursing and all. I mean, I am a proper lady, but lately, I’m becoming a sailor. Especially the cursing part.

I stated earlier that most of my univ. friends are second-born or are the last child. These kind of people (some of them) can’t stand me, due to my strictness. Here’s the thing, I’m the freaking VP and I don’t mind listening to your advice as a friend, but when I’m in work-mode, only the president is allowed to tell me what to do. I have my own way of doing things, if you don’t like how I do things, then fine, shoot away. There are more than 200 students under me, so you can’t expect me to be in favor with everyone. I’ve tried that before and it stressed me out; hated it.

I know it sounds cruel. A good leader is someone who can be in favor of his subordinates. Someone understanding who tried his best to help his underlings. Nevertheless, do remember, there’s a limit to what you can say to your leader. You must know when to not interfere with the leader’s duties and what not. A leader is a leader for a reason. Most of the time that person knows the consequences of his actions. He knows that he will be hated, but he must live with it because it comes in the package of being a leader.

Again, I’m not saying that I’m a good leader; I’m listed in the hated leader category. Even though a person may seems like he’s not doing any job, do remember, he is shouldering the burden of everyone else. He is carrying his problems as well as his underlings’. Sometimes, someone acts cruelly because they want the people around them to be a better person; a human being better than them. That’s why, don’t judge a book by its cover, because you never know how big of a problem a smile can hide.

Yeah, I think Allya the She-devil is coming out again because she had enough observing from the shadow. Although, do not worry, no matter how cruel Allya is; her politeness stays as long as you respect her. If you treat her rudely, you’re doomed. Once, twice, it is fine, but if you keep bitching every single time I see you; I am going to screw you.

This post is not for anyone in particular. I just want to let it all out before proceeding to the next semester and to tell the world that ‘she’ is coming back, so beware. Please don’t take it to heart, because this is nothing compare to what I’ll do. Toodles~




M2H life: An Indonesian living in Malaysia

Hi hi

As you all know (well maybe not everyone), I’m an Indonesian living in Malaysia. Those two countries are not that far. Just a 2 hours-ish flight and you’ve arrived.

I moved to Malaysia back in 2005. In the middle of August if I’m not wrong. Met new people, new friends and of course, a new environment.

 I’ve always been good with people. I know what they want and what they dislike. But, for an eight y/o (2006, my 1st year as a student in Malaysia), it’s quite scary. Before moving to Malaysia, I stayed at my grandma’s house in Malang. I finished my Year 1 of primary school there. When I arrived in Malaysia, language was my barrier. You see, I was so ‘medok’. As in my Javanese was on point! Yes, ‘was’ because I suck at it now.

When I first moved here, Malaysia and Indonesia are not in a really good relationship. This and that, alhamdulillah, my family and I found nice people here. We now have a few friendly and kind Malaysians as close friends.

My classmates and schoolmates are my favs. True, there are some ups and downs but heck! They’re the best friends anyone can have!!! Never once in my life, they ever disgrace me or insult me about my nationality. Friends, love you alllll!!!!!!!!!

Though I gotta admit, the teachers can be quite annoying. My 10 fingers are not fully open, so yeah, just a few.

I remember one time, during my Form 1 year, a teacher asked me about my nationality. I told her, I’m an Indonesian. She asked me,

“Ayah awak kerja cleaner lah?”

I said back,

“Yeah, dia boss cleaner”

My friends were furious! Like, chill lah guys. She’s insulting my dad, not yours. But yeah you get the point. My friends are sooo precious! Btw, my dad is not a cleaner guys, he’s a specialist. A specialist at scolding me. Hahahahaha xD

There’s the Indon thingy. I hate that word! Even now. I used to be freaking mad at people who said that forbidden word, but now that I know the truth, I can’t blame them. Though I still correct them.

The word ‘Indon’ was created by Indonesians themselves. Those ‘foreign’ workers named themselves ‘Indon’ so, that is why Malaysians call us ‘Indon’.

Okay, now to straightened things up, we are INDONESIAN and not Indon.

We feel very insulted if you called us ‘Indon’. If you still want to use the ‘Indon’ word then please refer that to those uneducated people. I know that I sounded rude, but that’s the truth. They called themselves that, but most of us educated Indonesians hate that word. It sounds so ugly and disgusting. It’s a total insult.

Next is the proud-being-an-Indonesian thingy. You see, I gotta admit, Indonesian tend to be so proud of our country. Even I’m proud being an Indonesian (though its freaking f****d up now). Indonesians are not like before, where its people love their country with their whole being. Indonesians these days only knew how to destroy their country’s reputation (well, not all of them. Some people are doing great things for our country). You may call me stupidly proud for loving my country, but hey, if we’re not the one who protects our country; then who will?

You may not feel it if you’re living in Indonesia. Though if you live abroad; that’s a different story. Ironically, my school always celebrated Malaysia’s Independence Day on the 17th of August which falls on Indonesia’s Independence Day. I will try to skip it if I can, but that’s impossible. I’m needed everywhere xD jk.

Do you have any idea how painful it was? I don’t know, maybe it’s because of my high patriotism spirit; I cried every time. Sometimes, I have to be the flag bearer you see. I declined, but I was still forced to do it (see, I’m irreplaceable guys xD). Every time the Jalur Gemilang was raised, I’ll cry. Call me over the top, but hey, I just love my country too much.

When you live abroad, you tend to not take things for granted.

So, why am I writing this actually?

It is because someone said something about my love for my country. I live in Malaysia and I love it here. Moving to Malaysia was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I grew up here, have nice friends and great acquaintances. True, not everyone is as lucky as I am, but Malaysia is not that bad. I went back to Indonesia and stayed there for 5 months ish and trust me when I say that I don’t want to live there. Yeah, I love my country but the crowdedness. Dang. I live in Cyberjaya&Putrajaya. Probably one of the cleanness and most quiet place in Malaysia, not to mention breathtakingly beautiful.

Malaysia’s great, but Indonesia is where my heart is. I may hate its crowdedness, nevertheless, I love it with all my heart. It’s one of the things that I will put my life on the line for (and can get very mad if you insult it). It’s my country and I am allowed to love it like a fool. If you can love a boy like an idiot, why can’t you love your country?

What I want to say here is that, Malaysia and Malaysians are great (though gotta to admit, Malaysians can be freaking rude. My mom’s friends were traumatized to come here again due to the local people rudeness) and they’re also changing for the better.

You should not judge people’s love for their country as well. What’s wrong with being overly proud? True, your country may be quite sh*tty sometimes but hey; which country doesn’t?

There’s a lot of Indonesian expatriate here in Malaysia and not all of them are bad. Look at me. The Indonesians students before me were stupid scheisse but somehow, I manage to leave a good impression to Malaysians in my school. Heck, I wouldn’t be getting one of the best student award if I’m bad, right? I’m not trying to brag. I just want to tell you what I feel about this whole Indonesia-Malaysia thingy.

If humans and aliens (superman a.k.a. Henry Cavill, the hottest superman alive! <3) can coexist, why can’t these two countries love each other? Well, the situation is better now than before. But humans are greedy creatures.

“I need more! I want more! Give me more!” said Allya who wants more ice cream (or more fats in her body xD)

That’s all for today.


P.S. Do forgive my messy writing and grammar. I’m so sleepy right now but I wanna write something. Degil. Hahahahaha xD

P.P.S. I wrote this for fun. Not to start a war. This is my PERSONAL OPINION. Others may have different opinions. I’m a young girl who haven’t live long enough to know about the world. Do forgive me if I said something insulting. Again, it;s MY PERSONAL OPINION. I’m not representing the whole Indonesians who live in Malaysia. Nope, not going to be responsible for shouldering a million of people’s opinion.

We are tired too…

Hi hi~

What I’m about to write can be a bit controversial. A little birdie told me about how the adults think about our generation; they hate us.

I’m not sure about other things but when it comes to school, they think that we’re a good for nothing human being who have all the facilities in the world but can’t stop complaining. I can’t say that we’re not like that but seriously? Getting mad because we love it when class was cancelled or when the holiday starts a day earlier?

They used the unlucky children thingy as a reference. Trust me, even those children will like it when there’s a sudden holiday. Though I don’t think that they love it as much as we do (we as in the lucky but good for nothing kids -_-).

You say that we are hopeless and will be a bad leader in the future because we love cancelled classes and sudden holidays; how about you adults then? Do you hate it when your boss suddenly gave you a day off or when they shooed you away from the office by noon? No, right? DON’T LIE TO US BY SAYING YOU HATE IT!

While you love getting a holiday from your job; we can’t love our ‘sudden’ holidays?

First, schools these days are different than before. Teachers are stressed, students are stressed, heck even the janitors are stressed out these days. Unlike before, we can stay at school for 12 hours or more (to study). I used to go to school at 7 a.m. and go back at 7 p.m. Uhhmmm… Do you work for 12 hours?

I get it, working life is not like school life. Work life has a lot more dramas and of course, jobs to be done. We students may not have as many jobs as yours but we too have a lot of things to do.

To get a respectable job with a high pay we have to make sure that we enter a great university (or any university for this matter). To enroll to a great university we have to make sure that our grades are top notch and of course, high curriculum marks. Aaaah also there’s scholarships. Unless you come from a rich family, getting into high ranking universities can be quite hard.

From 7 ‘till 7 we studied, socialized, listening to teachers nagging, helping out the janitors, making sure your teammates is behaving well or you’ll ended up standing in middle of the field in a hot weather thus causing you to faint at school but since you didn’t want to worry your parents who are working their a** off, you threatened your school to shut their freaking mouth and when you get home you have to do your homework, help your parents doing the dishes because you cannot complain or they’ll say that we did nothing at school and they’re very extremely tired trying to make a living for the family.

Oh I’m not describing myself guys. My mom’s a housewife, I laze around at home, at school I will not let anyone mess with me and if I fainted, I will tell the whole world.


*A picture of me laying on the ‘sick’ bed and hid half of my face*

Caption: Oh guys, I fainted just now. Alhamdulillah I ‘m good now *weird sad emoji* #sissakit #sispengsan #siskenadenda #sisdahsehat #youdonthavetoworryaboutme #imgood #thoughifeellonely #herealoneintheschoolclinic #hmmmnoonelovesmeanymore

Drama queen guys, remember -_-“

Back to the topic, guess what, after doing all of those things at school we didn’t get paid AT ALL (pocket money doesn’t count). Yeah I get it we got a lot of information and it is good for us bla bla bla but seriously.

I admit, our generation is not that good. We are a bit brash and stupidly crazy but you just gotta deal with it. You get mad when we said something about the older generation, saying that we don’t respect you but you can insult us whatever and whenever you like? Who’s the childish one now?

Younger people back then don’t have the courage to even raised their voice to the elders; unlike now we can shout at our parents like it’s nothing. Bad, I know but can you blame us? Don’t say that it’s all because of the western culture. I have some friends from the US, UK, Canada and so on but trust me when I say that they have better manner than us. Some are bad but that goes for us Asians. Not all Asians are good kids or are preppy smart.

Look at me. For my studies, I am a bit over average. Sports? To hell with it, I hate them. My social skills are way above average and I’m proud of it ;P

See, I’m an Asian but I’m not that smart, I’m an Asian but my social skills are good. Stop putting blames on other cultures, please.

To put an end to it, I am glad to have loving parents (more like mi vader) who work day and night so that my family and I can life a comfortable life. The younger generations can’t really get a job yet as they have to study and all (we can get a part time job but then again we can’t buy those limited edition LV bags can’t we? jk) but that doesn’t mean we don’t  deserve any respect.

We asked of you, dear older generation. We love and respect you but please, do respect us in return. Just like all of you, we too have a stressing life. We have school until nighttime and homework gosh those homework. We’re not blaming the teachers for this as well. They too are just like you guys; have a stressing life.

Please don’t take this the wrong way, everyone. I am nothing but a mere young selfish mortal. Not saying that all teens are good but do respect those who are well behaved. Please don’t make it as if all teens are troublemakers. We too have feelings and do feel tired sometimes. Just like how you feel a sudden day off from work is a gift from God; we too feel the same way.

I’m sorry for my not-so-polite-vulgar words and bye bye.


Women in Indonesia

First thing first, I would like to apologize if I offend you in anyway when you’re reading this post. Do forgive me.

An odd title, I know. What makes me feel like writing about it? Well…

I accidentally stumbled across a website for expatriates who live (or used to lived) in Indonesia and there’s a post about Indonesian women. While I’m quite flattered by their compliments about our beauty; our attitudes on the other half are not really like that. At first, I thought that site was the only one to describe Indonesian women like that but I did my research and damn… It was a brand new level kind of weird.

Before telling the world about our attitudes, those foreigners praised our natural beauty. Glowing olive skin, huge eyes, not-so-flat chest and bum, jet black hair and petite frame. Why, thank you for those compliments  ❤ Nope, I’m not describing myself guys, it’s written all over the internet, believe me.

But when I read the attitude sections, I feel kind of insulted.

We Indonesians have a lot of races. We have Javanese, Sundanese, Bataknese, Balinese aah the list is endless. Though not a lot of foreigners knew about it but us Indonesians, depending on our races; have different characteristics and attitudes. Let’s talk about the differences between the races later on since I don’t know much about them. Though one thing for sure, our attitudes don’t really varied much now. It’s the 21st century guys -_-“

So, what the foreigners described is what you called ‘Typical Jakarta Women’ not ‘Indonesian Women’. Screw that, what they’re describing are actually women who wants white/ Caucasian men (bule) since they think that all bule are rich.

I agreed on how Indonesian women tend to fuss on how they look and spent a whole lots of money on beautifying themselves (salons, spas, clothes, bags) since I am too like that but! I have no idea why they called us as obedient, not-wanting-to-argue-for-anything-or-anything kind of girl, basically a freaking submissive. I dare you to call me a submissive if we ever meet (don’t worry; I don’t do those kinky FSOG thingy, yet XD).

I’m honoured when they say that we are one hell of a driver, a great mother, a great wife,  a great cook and so on but WE ARE NOT OBEDIENT PETS who will bow down and lick your feet! Nope, big mistake, huge.

You may say that I’m not like those women since I lived abroad but just like my Indonesian friends here in Malaysia; my family and friends in Indonesia are the same. We’re one hell of a fighter. We bark and bite back when provoked but with grace (though in my case, I look like Satan’s mistress).

So when I read that those expatriates said they love Indonesian women not only for their beauties but also for their stupidly submissive self, I snapped.

Well, I know that not all Indonesian women are like those who are around me. Yes, there are a lot of women like the one that the foreigners explained but not all Indonesian women are like that. What I’m kinda pissed about is the fact that they made it sound like all Indonesian women are a some kind of fragile exotic pets that they can play around with. Hell no man.

I’m an Indonesian woman but I am not frail.

I’m an Indonesian woman but I am not an idiot.

I’m an Indonesian woman but I will defend myself and argue back if I don’t agree with something (or if something is wrong).

I’m an Indonesian woman but plus those great qualities, am the same as other women in the world.

Some people may get mad because of this post. I am a pure Indonesia(not) woman and I am proud to be one. As I said earlier, I wear my heart on my sleeve thus I will say what I hate and what I like openly. I wrote this not to blame the expatriates or anything, I just want the world to know that Indonesian women are not only exotic looking but we also have a brilliant mind(mine is filled with sarcastic remarks xD) and a great pride.

That’s all.


P.S. I know I like to joke around for wanting a hot young billionaire but I’m not that materialistic. I just wrote it for fun; I’m a simple kind of girl. If you’re patient, faithful, a Muslim who can lead me to the right path, tall, dark, handsome, funny, a hearts and flowers kinda guy, preferably rich, then I’m good. Hahahahaha XD Just kidding~ I’m describing an alien guys, like what kind of man is like that? Do call me if you’re like that though. Here’s my number +6011 **** **** Hohohohohohohoho XD

P.P.S. Who doesn’t want Christian Grey (minus his kinky scheisse)? Well, straight man xD

Early Marriage; yay or nay?

As I am a healthy almost-18 y/o girl, of course I have thoughts about marriage.

Photos courtesy of Mr. Google 🙂

For example, how will my wedding looks like?

Photos courtesy of Mr. Google 🙂

Indoor? Outdoor? Beach? Church? JK (Nauzubillah, istighfar Allya!)

Who will I marry?

Ooooh, I wanna marry these guys!!! ♥∪♥

Photos courtesy of Mr. Google 🙂

Dapat satu pun jadi lah xD

And the list goes on. Although I love the idea of getting married; but at this age is a no no for me. Why?


I wrote this post because I got myself into a fight (mouth only, mind you. I don’t beat women) with this one lady because she insisted on marrying off her daughter even though she’s still young; probably around my age. Her daughter pun layan je mak dia. Stupid.

Oh yeah, when I was living in Malaysia (I still am tho xD), getting married at a young age is like an everyday occurrence (I’m over writing this xD). I have friends who got married as young as 15 y/o. Crazy? I know, I was really shocked when I heard about it.

Like hallooooooo~ I’m here stressing about my school, exams and stuff yet you’re worrying about your family! That’s crazy man 0.0

So back to the topic. First, what is marriage? Heterosexual or not, marriage means having a legal bond with a certain someone. I’m not agreeing with this whole LGBT thingy but then again, it’s your choice (as long as you’re not a Muslim). Whether you love that person or not, once you say the ‘I do’ word then bam! He or she is yours. But what is a marriage without love?

Getting married means that you’ll have to see that person 24/7.

When you wake up, they’re there.

When you’re going to sleep, they’re next to you.

Basically, you’ll be stuck with that person; until Jannah, Insyallah.

So marrying someone who you don’t love is technically like living with some stranger in the same house. Not to mention that you have to do the deed (pervy Allya >///,\\\<)


“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect.” [Holy Quran 30:21]

“And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for your sustenance of the best.” [Holy Quran 16:72]

Those verses of the Holy Quran clearly show that Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved institutions. The Messenger of Allah swt. declared, “There is no monasticism in Islam.” He further ordained,

“O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty.” [Al-Bukhari]

Modesty was regarded as a great virtue by the Prophet. He said, “Modesty is part of faith.” [Al-Bukhari]

The importance of the institution or marriage receives its greatest emphasis from the following Hadith of the Prophet,

“Marriage is my Sunnah. Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me.”

With those Quranic injunctions and the guidance from the Prophet saw. in mind, we can see that in my religion; marriage is a good thing but if you’re still acting like a child, then please, just DON’T!

Yes, yes I know. People change. Though I doubt that you’ll change in a short amount of time.

For example; let’s just say that I was to get married this instant. I would object to it. Like literally object it.

Hello, I woke up when the sun is high.

You need to give me at least 20 minutes to find things in my room since they’re like the insides of a wrecked ship.

Cooking? I am a great cook but to cook every single day, no thank you.

Not to mention that I like to hang out and have fun a lot.

Memang tak lah nak jadi mak orang. Jaga diri pun tak pass, inikan nak jaga orang. Hmmmm… Memang tak lah -_-“

So the question is; is an early marriage a pros or a cons?

  • Great looks ✓
  • Great cook ✓
  • Love cleanness ✓
  • A loving and kind hearted wife ✓
  • Love children lots ✓

Well, if you have those kind of qualities a.k.a. a womanly woman, I mean a woman amongst women, then go ahead and get married. But if you’re still like me and the reason why you want to get married is just because, then don’t. You’ll regret it for life.

Why is it a con?

 There is a reason why we are studying until the age of 20-ish. It’s because until we reach that age, we are practically kids (with a huge body). People might argue that it’s ok to juggle between your marriage and studies. I know some people who can do it but not so much. My grandmother got married at an early age. While she didn’t really regret it when she was younger, she regrets it a lot these days a.k.a. when she is older. She said that before, when people her age are all hanging out with friends and all, she had to stayed in and took care of her little family. It was fun but when she’s older, she realizes that she didn’t miss those times because she didn’t live it through. You’ll literally lost your young adult life.

So friends, nak kawin awal ke? Think about your future, your children and your beloved as well. Okay 😉

Though if you still wanna get married then go ahead. This is just my personal opinion. Then again, Allah swt. have arrange everything for us. Who knows, maybe I’m the one who’s going to get married at a young age -_-” Ironic.


P.S. I’m not that bad of a woman. Do marry me xD

P.P.S. I just realize that this post was targeted towards women, tehee~~~ I’ll write one about my opinions on boys and early marriage. MAYBEEEE~~~