Wattpad much

Hi hi~

It has been two weeks since class started. Life is good, yeah. S’all good. Everything is back to normal, except for the fact that I’m isolating myself from the world…

I AM OBSESSED WITH WATTPAD!!!

To those who doesn’t know what Wattpad is, I suggest you to download it and use it to the fullest! Oh God! My private library is full of my guilty pleasures! >///,\\\<

I first stumbled upon Wattpad two years ago, in 2015. I think I downloaded it because Cici wrote a story and post it on Wattpad, or maybe I downloaded it because of its amazing contents of fanfiction. I don’t know and I’m not sure how it started, but it’s one of the two reasons.

Wattpad and I were inseparable, especially during my stay in Indonesia. It was my one and only friend. We kept hanging out 24/7 until I officially became a college student. I stopped reading Wattpad because things were just hectic. I forgot about its existence for a while, I’m sorry my dear friend TT^TT

This obsessive reading of mine started again a few weeks ago; in the middle of my non-existence semester break. I was bored and lazily opened the Wattpad app.

IT WAS A MISTAKE!

From that moment on, I was addicted to it. I read it anytime and anywhere. I read it before I went to bed, as well as on the bus, even though reading on a moving vehicles messed up with my head a bit. I didn’t know it was that bad until today.

I came to campus quite early and the class was empty, what did I do? Continue reading a Wattpad story of course. Tick tock tick tock tick tock, Sir Ron, my psychology lecturer barged in, which kinda surprised me. I look up blurly and snapped out of my reverie after Sir Ron asked, “Are you okay ah, Allya?”

It struck me that class is starting and is already packed with my friends. The blocked noises come to my hearing sense, the auras of living creature was felt through the air. I was stunt, I didn’t move nor speak. I was too deeply sucked into Wattpad world. I feel bad towards my surroundings. I hope I didn’t ignore anyone who greeted me ‘good morning’ because guys, I really didn’t feel your presence. All I can remember was, imagining the female lead in the Wattpad story as me a.k.a. Allya being pampered with love and lux by a hot young billionaire.

Sadly, I don’t want to stop xD It’s getting worse, I admit, but hey, bukan selalu. So, if you say ‘hi’ to me but are being ignored, please don’t feel offended because I’m currently not in this world. Thank you. Hahahahahaha xD

Toodles for now. I have a Wattpad story to read, tata~

SCOLDED

They were mad, freaking mad at me; Nana and Nody. Hell, Nana wants to kill me the next time we see each other. So why are they trying to kill me? Well…

As you all know, my life was a bit hectic for the past few months and I was a softie, unlike my usual old self. Nody didn’t say it straight to my ace, only Nana did, for now; but according to Nana, Nody was furious. The both of them are nonchalant type of  people. They don’t care about how others are, but the fact that Nana screamed into my ear about my health, both mentally and physically; I know that I’m screwed.

You worried about others too much!

You don’t care about yourself!

Stop pushing yourself to the limit will you!

When Nana called me, Kink and Pres was near. I even asked them to confirm it to her that I love going to the doctor. She ‘ugut’ me, saying that she will call my mom if this keep on going. She kept shutting my mouth and kept ‘membebel’ until my ear bled.

Although, I wasn’t mad. I actually feel sad. Those two, especially Nana, don’t really care much, but the fact that she reached her limit and blew up… Yeah… I think I should slow down. No, I will slow down. This happened, that happened. Not only those two, my other friends are annoyed/worried at me. Even the I-do-not-care-about-the-world Syamiel was pissed at me. Pen was annoyed, his girfriend whom I just met and see only once was worried about me. Ardella is of course, being Cici, was acting cool about it, but I know that she’s hurting to see me like this.

I don’t feel tired, no, I feel tired, but it’s bearable. Though according to people around me, I should stop. Obviously, I can,t stop, though I’ll try to lessen my bussyness. C’mon guys, you know how I am. I’ll also be the old cruel Allya back. The kind of person who orders people around, being bossy and all.

I guess I was being selfish. I kept telling myself to be strong for others, but in the end, I ended up worrying them. I’ll be stronger and I will lean on people more now. Love yaaa~

Tata~

A blur

You know that feeling when your mind just stop working. I’m writing this while hoping that none of my housemates will read it. These past few months was hectic. My schedule was packed, with both studying and UFS’s matters. True, I’m a strong person mentally, but I think I’m reaching my limit.

If you read my earlier posts, you’ll know that I’m in the middle of my sem break. Although, there’s none for my housemates and I. It was fine, until now. We’re supposed to gather back at Kelana Jaya by next week and I’ve planned everything, but it just disappear. I was in a blur earlier, staring into the wall kind of blankness. Then, I started crying, sobbing like a little child whose candy has been taken away from her. In the middle of that emotional distress, I messaged a friend. I told that person about my sudden blur state, not knowing what to do.

Babbling about it, I stopped. Everyone have burdens, I don’t want to add my friends’ burdens; they have enough. Furthermore, I’m the one who jumped into the scene, knowing what I‘ll face ahead.

It happened while I was packing my luggage. I don’t know what to pack, heck, I don’t know what outfit I should wear next week. It got me thinking, what the hell am I doing right now? Why do I have to stay over at Kelana Jaya next week? Why can’t we just do it from our perspective home? Why? Why? Why? Endless whys.

Releasing my distress while writing this post, hoping that no one will read it; it calms me a bit.

Crazy it may sound, I think I need a break from everything. I need to see the doctor, need to spend more time being a college student. I want to act my age, without caring about anything but my pointers.

The last time I had a decent sleep was before I became the VP, am not complaining though, because I know that my Pres’s burdens are heavier. I promised myself not to add anything to his already-heavy-responsibility, but I guess I’m not strong enough. After this, I’ll have to be stronger, for everyone. That’s what I’ve been doing all my life, being strong, so what’s with the sudden breakdown?

Aaaah… I know… I think it’s because of my views. I haven’t see or being with any hot guys these days. Teheee~ Let’s lighten up the mood should we?

You gotta admit, hot guys are da bomb! Especially if they’re kind and hmmmm… I don’t care if they’re straight or not, as long as you’re an eye candy, then I’ll be fine. I’m not trying to be a hoe here; studies did show that handsome male lowers down female stress level.

Uhuuu, I just got a message from Pen’s gf, asking me to go out tomorrow. I think I’ll take on that offer. Gotta go outside and chill around, cuci mata~ Ceh, though Pen will probably come as well tomorrow, the chance of meeting new guys is going to be as thin as my patience.  Oh well, beggars cannot be choosers. Toodles world~

Tata~

Nineteen B’day Bash

B’day bash my arse. It was nothing like a birthday party, but it was a warm day.

If you read my earlier post, you know that I spent my night and morning with Amyr and Farrel. We decided to go to Putrajaya because of several reasons. Although, in the end we forgo the idea because we were too tired. It was 6ish in the morning when Kink, Farrel and I decided to go back home. Before going back, Kink called Daryl and Daryl asked Kink to wait for him. Obviously we didn’t leave Kink alone in McD.

So Daryl said that he’ll arrive in 40 mins, but his 40 mins are freaking long. I slept like a log at McD, covering myself with Kink’s jacket, looking like a homeless person. Farrel and Amyr were watching Tangled while laughing like children, bad children because they’re way past their bed time.

When Daryl arrived, my mom Whatsapped me saying that she wanna make Soto for everyone because I told her earlier that we’re going to Putrajaya. I forgot to inform her, the plan was cancelled and damn, I was screwed. With puppy-eyes that obviously didn’t work, I pleaded them to go back home with me. There were few groans, but we went to Putrajaya in the end xD

We waited for the bus, we reached my house, we slept. Hahahahahaha xD There’s something else in between, but they’re not interesting.

After eating out breakfast, my mom told us to sleep because we look like zombies and boy did we sleep. We passed out instantly (that’s Farrel and Amyr. Daryl and I slept lightly) until my mom woke us up for lunch. We ate lunch, bla bla bla and decided to sleep again, or not.

We actually have a lunch meeting and an official meeting that day. We bailed out from the lunch meeting and were late for the official meeting, more like it was cancelled.

Back in the house, Farrel told us to just take a nap and relax, but Daryl and I were eager. I’m so going to trust her 6th sense after this, on the way back to campus, we got a message saying that the meeting was cancelled. We were like……………………………

We were too tired to complain. We went back home and sleep. Farrel and I slept from 5 p.m. until 7:30 a.m. I don’t know about the other two boys, but I think they woke up quite early and sleep again. Farrel and I set our alarm at 7:30 p.m. but hey, what’s the fun in that xD

I am now writing this after showering with a rumbling stomach begging for attention because there’s no food around. I’m too lazy to go down because I’m literally alone. No one is awake… Saad…

Haiih…

Nevertheless, just like how it’s always been when the four of us are together; unexpected. It may not be the best birthday ever, but it’s the warmest. My family except my dad and  my housemates a.k.a. my crazy ass friends all in one place. We didn’t interact much, but somehow, it warms my heart. Ihiiiii!!! Love you guys!!! Too bad we won’t be together on my next birthday TT^TT —> Reality hits me hard.

Tata~

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Before we drift off to dream land~

 

Ponderin’ on Life

Written on 11 May, 2017 at 0109h.

Hi hi~

Sooooooooooooo… I’m officially 19 today!!! Horraaaaaayyy!!! Hiks TT^TT It’s my second year celebrating my birthday far from my parents. Last year, I celebrated it in Indonesia with my grandparents and uncles and aunties and cousins from my mom’s side of the family and today I celebrate it by using McD’s Wi-Fi for free while watching extreme cheapskate with Kink while waiting for Farrel to come back home… My birthday is getting weirder and weirder by the year xD

I didn’t realize that today is my birthday until Kink suddenly wished me. My eyes were teary. Life was hectic that I don’t even remember my own birthday. He was excited, knowing he’s the first person to wish me.

Next was Farrel. She’s attending this fashion show somewhere and snuck out to wish me. Hiks! Sis terharu sangat! In the middle of that busyness, she was able to call me and wish me.

While waiting for Amyr and Farrel to come to McD (Amyr is waiting for Farrel at Sofo because she’s coming home soon), I received a message from Daryl. He wished me too. My first though was, damn its long, then I read it. Teary eyes again!!! Oddly, his messages always lift up my moods and energy. Boek bro!

Now, while writing this post, I’m waiting for Amyr and Farrel. I’m looking for a freaking plug because my laptop is dying soon. Aaah… I can see those two creatures walking towards McD, slowly like sloths.

This year may be crazy, those three are killing me, but the fact that they’re the first three to wish me made my day.

Love you three!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Today, it also makes me wonder on what I’ve been doing in life.

Have I been in a good person for the past 19 years?

Was I a good daughter, a good friend?

What mistakes have I done?

Was I cruel?

Did I forgive everyone?

The list is endless, but alhamdulillah, I know the answer to all of those questions. I may not be a good person nor a kind one, but I do know that I’m surrounded with them. I have my families, my friends, my teachers, people around me are amazing. I will not be the person who I am today without them.

They’ve shaped me. The good experience gave me happiness and the bad ones are life lessons.

The big 20 are closer than the adorable 10. I am not the only one who’s growing; my parents are getting older as well. I’m pretty sure that I’m not the best daughter people can have, but the loves that my parents give are endless. I used to hate their scolding. Like, why do you have to scold me? As I grew up, I finally found out why those scolding are important. Without them, I would have gone astray and will probably a spoiled little princess. Scolding is one of a way for our parents to show their loves. They want their children to be grow up decently, that’s why steps need to be taken.

This year, although it has only been half a year, I learnt a lot of things. It changed me. True, not all of them were happy moments, but it makes me more mature.

I hope that I can be a better person, for my parents, my family, my friends and also the society. Aamiin.

Enough with this, I have to ‘layan’ Amyr and Farrel now.

Tata~

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My view for the whole night. Why are you glaring at me, Kink?!