Past – Future

Hi hi~

I’m back in Malaysia, finally! But I have to go back to Indonesia in two weeks. Hiks. This was not the original post I wanted to publish, but oh well~

I just arrived home after meeting a school buddy of mine. It has been around six months since I last met this friend. We talked and talked. Thanks to that, I am now sitting in my room, writing this post with a relieved heart.

True, I did receive a not so good news from this friend of mine, but there’s just something calming about meeting an old buddy. I’ve realized this for quite some time now; my school friends are my happy pills.


Befriending them was not a choice, but staying in contact with them, thinking about them, praying for them, they’re all mine to decide. A friend or two may have scarce themselves, but the rest are still bonding and I hope we will still be so in the future, aamiin.

I wrote about this in one of my previous post, about how much my school friends meant to me. Graduating from high school was a blast, but it also left an empty spot in my heart, thus when I met one of them, the spot healed. We didn’t do much, didn’t spend much.

I’ve found my stress reliever.

I can talk as much as I want ✔

I can be myself  ✔

I can hear about the latest gossip (about my friends) ✔

Also, you can just meet up with them anywhere and anytime (as long as both parties are free). Although it’s not exactly the same; it’ll be like the past.

I am hoping, as much as I love these annoying creatures, how much I care for them, how much I cherish them; they’ll think of me in the same way. It’s fine if they don’t, it’s fine if they have someone else, as long as they’re happy, s’all good.

Gosh, I sound so creepy xD It’s like reading an obsessed fan’s fan letter xD

Dear future Allya, if you’re reading this, do remember on how much these people meant to you. Once in a blue moon, taking them for granted is fine and letting go of those who want to be let go is also fine, but no matter what, probably, half of your great and joyful memories are filled with them.

The PAST, the reason why I am how I am today. Filled with joy and sorrow, but a never-ending care. The place where I seek comfort in.

The PRESENT, the good and the bad. My motivator and Achilles heels. The place where I seek comfort in.

The FUTURE, the reason why I am striving hard. For wanting everyone to succeed and live a peaceful life. The place where I seek comfort in.

As you can see, other than my family, they’re the one I want to find comfort in. I find people who want to get rid of their high school memories as dummies. No matter how painful school life was, there’s always a happy moment (unless you’re a pessimist, no offense to pessimist out there) and you have to thank those experience as they make you who you are today. And your children will be that pitiful soul who never get to meet their parent’s school friends, meaning, they will have less life-experience talk. Boring.

You learn from the past. The happy can be kept, for it to be open on a bad day and the sad can be a lesson, to make you wiser.

One of the key to be successful is to see a silver lining in every dark cloud. I am not a successful person myself, but I pat myself on the back for being able to see the good in everything. It lowers the stress level and you’ll feel like you’re walking on a flower petals road (anime style, with petals flying everywhere and pop! Your destined love is in front of you) because your heart is filled with positive energy.

I should stop, this is getting nowhere.

Again, one of my biggest wish is for us (my school friends and I) to stay close forever, in hoping, everyone will succeed together and we can finally brag about it. Just kidding! Let us all be billionaires who will succeed in life and Jannah! Let’s be that crazy group of alumnus that will rock the world~


P.S. I am no perfect friend myself. Sometimes, even when I know my friends are in trouble, I didn’t do much. I am not ignoring them, but sometimes I heard their problems from other people. Unless it’s life-threatening, I don’t want to bother their life unless they want me to. As burdensome my life is (trust me, I’m kinda like burden-free these days), there will always be a space for your shenanigans, my friends. I’ve been making this ‘room’ for more than a decade, so there should be enough space for everyone (unless all of you decided to become serial killers, this one I can’t help xD)


Triggered Memories

Hi hi~

A few minutes ago, I finished watching this one movie. The movie was divided into a few movies(?) or so. I sound so dumb, but yeah. The last part of the movie was out, watched it, disappointed, though, I shed tears during the ending.

There is this one movie that I have been wanting to watch since I was 15. It was a spin off from a book which I’ve known since the young age of 13, but I only began reading it during my last year of middle school. Cici/Ardella, my darling BFF read it first, then she told me it was a fine, fine book. You freak! That thing is not something a 15 years old should read! Oh well, who cares.

The both of us become obsessed with it! We’ve probably read the book a gazillion times. We practically memorized the whole series. You have no idea how excited we were when we found out that a movie was in the making. From the casting to the first shooting and to the private life of the actors. We knew it all. We were screwed, in a way.

The first movie was released in 2015. We were 17, Cici and I went to different schools, as usual, but we were like monkeys! Jumping up and down, enthusiastic as the premiere date was getting closer. Nevertheless, heaven brought its peace upon us. To prevent two crazy 17 y/o girls to watch such movie, it was banned in Malaysia. I know you can probably guess the movie by now. It’s my favourite book, uoolllsss!

Bla bla bla

As usual, I’m not really fond of the movie premiere. So there I was, sitting, laying down watching the last part of the trilogy, the cut one, thus resulting in a very disappointed Allya. It was fun, I was laughing, literally reciting each line in the movie (memorized the whole book), but during the ending, I cried.

My favourite song was playing (from the movie) and they played back those clips from the first movie until the last. You see, I have a very terrible, troublesome, annoyingly annoying case of saying goodbyes. I hate goodbyes. I’m bad with it. Especially when it gave me lots of memories.

As they playback the memories-clip thingy, my own memories started to move, it geared up. Yes, memories are machines xD

I remember those days where I read that book during those long but packed morning assemblies. I remember the time I told my classmates on how good those books actually are, if you look at it from a different perspective. How they made fun of me, how I made fun of them back, how we insulted each other’s fetishes.

Talking about how college life will be? How working life will be? How marriage life will be?

Other than the last part, all of us have now experienced it. From that same-cycle-everyday student to a never-the-same-event-in-a-row kind of person; my classmates and I have grown. We’ve experienced things we never knew existed. We meet new people, there’s also a new environment, new tasks. Nevertheless, by the end of the day, your school friends are just there for you; no matter how hard you tried to remove them.

As you’re reading this, you must think, ‘This girl is crazy, you can’t have that much connection with your school friends.’ But hey, we’re just close, alhamdulillah.

Look at it this way, you’ve been seeing that person for a decade, every single day, yes, sometimes even during the weekends. You talk to them, you laugh with them, you fight with them, you experience grief and sorrow, but also pure bliss, happiness. One day, bam, they’re just gone and you’re out of your comfort zone. Unless you’re just an oddball, you’ll miss that weird, tingly sensation of being with those forced-to-be-friends-but-ended-up-being-our-good-friends-since-we-see-each-other-everyday friends. What?…

I love college, I really do, but there is just something about being with your school friends. The last time you met them was a year ago, maybe, but there is no tension, no awkwardness. It feels comfortable, calming, stress-free; unless there’s a drama going, which will not be cute anymore as we’re 20 y/o this year.

Whenever I feel stressed out about life, I reached out to them. They’re my comfort zone, as creepy as it sounds, I’m so going to stick with you forever, guys! I will leach on like a parasite, remember Science Form 3? Yeah, I’m going to be that.

As this book and movie have been with me for quite sometimes; my friends have been with me for a long time. The memories I have, good and bad, they made me who I am today. You can’t just get rid of it and I don’t want to. My stories with them are a tale which I want to pass on to my children, possibly to my grandchildren as well. My whole life was filled with them, they play a huge part in my life, other than my family.

I don’t miss that everyday-school routine, but I do miss their laughs, their jokes, their sassiness, their dumbness, their everything. I’m holding back my tears as I’m typing this post.

This movie was supposed to be my happy pill, but why do I feel sad? Then I remembered, my schoolmates are my happy pills, this movie reminds me of them. A group of people whom I used meet every day without a doubt, but now, we can only see each other in the cyber world. After all, we are CYBERjaya’s graduates. *laughing at my own puns*

The movie may disappoint me, but the ending did its justice. It made me realize on how important memories can be. They’re my treasure, they made me grow, and they taught me love do extend beyond family members.

My schoolmates, I am blessed with such an amazing group of friends. I hope we can create our own legacy and help those who are in need. As everyone is special in a different kind of way, let’s create an empire!

Fighting! And I miss you guys, a lot! ❤




Reminiscing Old Times

Hi hi~

I know, I know. I promised that the next post will be about my sleep over with Pavi, but things are hectic and yeah. I’ll just write about it, next time.

So, I was scrolling down my old blog because I want to convert them to PDF; for the sake of memories. I cried, I laughed, I cringed, yes, mostly cringed.

OMG! I remember that day!

Gosh, the hell was I thinking?!

I can’t believe they did that?!


Wuaaaaaa!!! I miss those dorks! TT^TT

Those are some of the scenarios. One thing for sure though, I was so immature back then. Especially when it comes to my love life. Pfftt.

Like I always said, I’m screwed when Allya-the-love-struck-idiot is back. The 24/7 tomato-red Allya, submissive Allya, I-can-not-see-him-without-blushing-even-though-he-is-1-km-away Allya, the ever-so-stuttering Allya, the my-self-esteem-is-all-over-the-floor Allya. Dear God, it is so not me!

My writings, don’t get me started about my grammar.


My grammar is way better now, comparing to before. The qualities of those posts are terrible as well. Not to mention those photos! UGLY was tattooed all over my forehead! I want to delete them all, but knowing that my school friends like to read it sometimes (and bloody cried); I’ll just keep it for old times’ sake.

Eeeergh, I’m still cringing. How did I manage to wake up at 4 a.m. to make some packed lunch for me, hoping that Syamiel will praise my cooking?! Stupid Allya! The present Allya will even skip her exam for some sleep! What is wrong with you, young lady?! You’ll forget him in a few years time, and ended up being best buddies (more like insulting buddy).

There are those stupid school dramas. Why Allya? Why?!

Hahahahaha xD

Nevertheless, it made me who I am today. My past may not be filled with rainbows and golds, but they’re a part of me. Something that I will not trade for anything in the world. I’m thankful for those who are still with me now, but those who left; you’re still in my mind.



Becoming too ‘manja’

Who? Who became annoyingly spoilt? Tehee~ It’s me.

I am not one to ‘mengada’ with people. I don’t mind people being all clingy, acting like a baby, but for Thor’s sake; I don’t do those things. Well, at least not before.

To summarize it all, before college, I was the guardian angel/Satan’s mistress to people around me. They’ll seek me for comfort and asked for advice (tho most of the time, I’m the source of their agony), they belief in me (not trust) and most importantly, my friends know that Allya the big sister will always be there for them; to protect them.

If they got into a fight, I’ll beat up whoever the opponent was (even when my friends are wrong. Bad, I know. Am extremely bias), when someone said bad things about my friends, I’ll make sure that person who bad-mouthed them will suffer for the rest of their life (only I can talk bad about my friends) and when we’re out in the cold world, I will make sure everyone was safe. I’ll walk on the side-nearest-to-the road path, I’ll make sure I’ll be hit first when crossing the road,  I’ll bring all of those heavy things; I’ll protect them from harm’s way.

Although, it all changed when I entered college. Particularly, during my semester 2. I am treated like a princess. Maybe it’s a normal thing, but I do feel flattered by whatever they are all doing. Alhamdulillah, I’m blessed with guy friends who are total gentlemen. Never once, those male in my campus ever let me bring heavy things. They care for me like how a girl is suppose to be treated. I mean, I’m not saying that the guys from school are bad, they’re adorable, but maybe they’re just used to see me as someone who’ll protect them; not one to be protected.

Sadly, I became too comfortable with this whole situation. When I met my school friends, I get offended by what they did or said. The old Allya wouldn’t mind about it at all. Heck, she’ll probably laugh it off without feeling bad. However, the current Allya almost cried.

When facing a troublesome situation, the girl who not only collected herself, but are also leading 800 people; she was shaking when answering the phone. I mean, I get it if I’m shaking because I lied, but I was blurting out the truth for God sake! I kept blabbering; ‘uhhhmmm’ was often said as much as I inhale. Ergh! The old me can tell you a story about some person’s life; a non-existence person while sounding like that person is my best friend! (not something that I should be proud of, but you get the point yeah)

She is becoming softer and more sensitive. I should get myself together. Gotta find that old Allya back (only the positive sides please). I love being pampered by people around me, but I should not delude myself. Okay, delude is not the word, but whatever xD

True, I love being treated like a woman, but I shouldn’t be mean to friends who didn’t treat me as such. It’s not their fault, they know the old Allya, not the new. So I can’t blame them for that. Regardless, I love all of my friends!

❤ ❤ ❤ Love you all lots! ❤ ❤ ❤


P.S. I know this is a random thing to write. I just feel like writing, that’s all. Again, bear with me please xD

P.P.S. I am becoming too dependent on Pres as well. Before, everyone was depending on me; the ever so independent woman. Now, I’m disgusted at how much I depend on Pres. No offense Pres, none of them are your fault. I love being your VP, you treat me well and thanks to you, I get to experience being a follower, leaded by a great person. But gurl, you gotta get yourself together and rule on! Oppps, I mean live on~

Death God wanna take what?

You know how everyone has this one story or event that causes them to laugh out loud in the middle of nowhere. Well, thanks to this story people probably think that I’m crazy since I will suddenly laugh like a crazy person.

This is how it goes…………………………………

It was during my Form 1 year, I was 13 and young and ugly and fat (you’re still fat). Unlike other classes, my friends and I have extra classes almost everyday since we were in Year 6 -_- Tiring. So, before we attended our evening classes, we were given a couple of hours to eat, rest and pray.

When we entered middle school, the praying room (surau) for girls and boys were separated. The boys’ surau is in the main mosque(?) and the girls’ surau is in the academy block.

One fated evening, it was earlier that year; the boys were praying. One ill-fated boy was pranked by his friends. His name is Afiq Mahadi or Apiqy (my weird nicknames for my friends. Poor them xD).

He was praying when it happened. While doing the sujud, a friend of ours a.k.a. Hariz Yunus the prankster said something to Apiqy.

Aku malaikat maut nak ambil your ba**s! (I am the death god and I’m going to take your ba**s!)

At that moment Apiqy was so freaking scared. He was crying and shaking in fear begging the so called ‘death god’ to spare his ba**s. Hahahahahaha xD

It became a class joke for a while. I don’t think anyone still remembers that but it is as fresh as ever in my memory. It feels like it happens yesterday XD Too bad it didn’t happened in front of me. The boys were the one who told me this story. Every time I recalled it, all hell went loose xD

Well, I guess it is not really that funny but I am LOL-ing while typing this xD