A blur

You know that feeling when your mind just stop working. I’m writing this while hoping that none of my housemates will read it. These past few months was hectic. My schedule was packed, with both studying and UFS’s matters. True, I’m a strong person mentally, but I think I’m reaching my limit.

If you read my earlier posts, you’ll know that I’m in the middle of my sem break. Although, there’s none for my housemates and I. It was fine, until now. We’re supposed to gather back at Kelana Jaya by next week and I’ve planned everything, but it just disappear. I was in a blur earlier, staring into the wall kind of blankness. Then, I started crying, sobbing like a little child whose candy has been taken away from her. In the middle of that emotional distress, I messaged a friend. I told that person about my sudden blur state, not knowing what to do.

Babbling about it, I stopped. Everyone have burdens, I don’t want to add my friends’ burdens; they have enough. Furthermore, I’m the one who jumped into the scene, knowing what I‘ll face ahead.

It happened while I was packing my luggage. I don’t know what to pack, heck, I don’t know what outfit I should wear next week. It got me thinking, what the hell am I doing right now? Why do I have to stay over at Kelana Jaya next week? Why can’t we just do it from our perspective home? Why? Why? Why? Endless whys.

Releasing my distress while writing this post, hoping that no one will read it; it calms me a bit.

Crazy it may sound, I think I need a break from everything. I need to see the doctor, need to spend more time being a college student. I want to act my age, without caring about anything but my pointers.

The last time I had a decent sleep was before I became the VP, am not complaining though, because I know that my Pres’s burdens are heavier. I promised myself not to add anything to his already-heavy-responsibility, but I guess I’m not strong enough. After this, I’ll have to be stronger, for everyone. That’s what I’ve been doing all my life, being strong, so what’s with the sudden breakdown?

Aaaah… I know… I think it’s because of my views. I haven’t see or being with any hot guys these days. Teheee~ Let’s lighten up the mood should we?

You gotta admit, hot guys are da bomb! Especially if they’re kind and hmmmm… I don’t care if they’re straight or not, as long as you’re an eye candy, then I’ll be fine. I’m not trying to be a hoe here; studies did show that handsome male lowers down female stress level.

Uhuuu, I just got a message from Pen’s gf, asking me to go out tomorrow. I think I’ll take on that offer. Gotta go outside and chill around, cuci mata~ Ceh, though Pen will probably come as well tomorrow, the chance of meeting new guys is going to be as thin as my patience.  Oh well, beggars cannot be choosers. Toodles world~

Tata~

3 hours toilet break

Hi hi~

This tragic tragedy happened months ago. I was watching PPL and have a sudden urge to pee. After peeing (too much details, Allya), I did my wudhu to do Maghrib prayer. I didn’t lock the toilet’s door because no one was home (except my siblings), neither did I know that I’ll be stuck in that place for 3 hours.

Announcement, I have two rooms now. One for me to sleep in and one for me to do my work (art work, etc.) I was in the sleeping room which is located downstairs. I was thankfully, stuck inside the toilet on 1st floor.

I didn’t panicked at first, but after a few minutes; cold sweats man. I screamed for my sibling’s help. If I can’t destroy that door knob; I’m pretty sure they can’t even leave a dent on it. What did I do? I asked them to passed my phone and laptop through this tiny-grilled window.

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The magical ‘pass-me-my-stuff-through-here window’

The question that everyone’s asking. No guys, I don’t bring my phones nor laptop inside the toilet -_-‘

I called my parents, grandparents, uncles, heck I whatsapp-ed my 5 Sc1 classmates (hoping that those who lived in Putrajaya can help me, but I guess they can’t -___-), but there’s no avail.

IMG_2849

I want to break that door knob, but I was scared that my dad will scold me. After watching three episodes of PPL, I finally destroy that door knob. I hit if from the inside and my dad gave the final blow. Dang, thank God our neighbours are all away that night or they’ll think that a bomb blew up in my house.

IMG_2822
We destroyed it in the end

During those three hours of coldness and dampness, I was thinking about my life (yeah, like how cool would it be if I’m as pretty as those girls in PPL) and remember lots of things (Uhhhmmm Shavvin, you have pictures-of-hot-aussie-guys overdue here). It made me realize on how lucky I am to have a nice house that can shelter me and a nice place where I can call school/university.

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PLL ALL THE WAAAY~

Well, that’s that. My writing skills suck these days. I’m going to read more books (not wattpad nor fanfics, a real physical book which title is not Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy)

Tata~

Juggling in between

Hi hi~

So… As I mentioned in earlier posts, this semester was crazy (let’s just say that it has ended, only 3 days left to kill) because of how busy I was. I’m not trying to sound like I’m the busiest student on earth, but it was definitely the busiest 3-months of my life. It felt like time was moving too slow yet too fast. One day I’m rushing to class in my sneakers and tomorrow you will see me in my formal outfit + freaking high heels, banging some higher ups’ door somewhere; or maybe seeing me in my winter outfit (for class) walking around KL like a lost puppy and jungle trekking Bukit Nanas.

True, unlike those amazing adults out there, my busyness seems like nothing, but for a student; it’s quite hard. While you have to attend those full-of-stress meetings (inside and outside of campus), you have to maintain that 4.0-GPA. I have a full-day meeting today while having a 20%-marks-for-my-course-mark presentation on the next day. Not to mention having to write down an eight pages long of essay about myself (which I’m really good at, bragging about myself) and a 30-pages-long of economy report on ‘How Inflation Affects Argentina,’ all need to be submitted by that week. Ah, don’t forget to mention about those events, I got to make sure that UFS’s biggest event a.k.a. the Festival of Ideas (FOI) went smoothly and also making sure that no one dies during the leisure event, all occurred on the same week; just one day apart.

I’m not complaining on how busy I was, I enjoyed it actually. Those crazy hustle bustles and intense conversations on how to get 50K ASAP, but it has taken a toll on my body. Firstly, Allya don’t do pimples or acne. My face is as smooth as a baby’s butt, no enlarged pores, didn’t go through that crazy acne-all-over-my-face during puberty, a very evenly toned and glowing skin, ah! The list is endless! Yes, I am bragging, but the problem is, they’re all in the past! Smooth skin my butt, I have pimples here and there, uneven and dull skin, my dark circles! I never had one in my life before! Those odd-out-of-place oil all over my face. Oh God, it’s a disaster!

The busy schedule has been toned down for now, all I have to think about for this week is my exams. Due to that, my fav doctor in the world gave me some antibiotics to make my skin healthier and for the past few days I’ve been sleeping like a log. My parents didn’t even dare to wake me up (a post on this later on) even though I was sleeping throughout the whole day.

Slept at 10 pm, woke up at 2 pm to shower and eat lunch, then took a nap(?) from 5 and woke up again at 8 to do my prayers, slept again at 10 pm. The cycle continues for two days straight. I feel a bit refreshed, though not so much, but then again, beggars can’t be choosers.

(While writing this post my dad just arrived back home. It creeps the hell out of me, what kind of person, in their right mind will open their house door at midnight when someone rings the bell? I tiptoed like a thief to check the ‘guest,’ I sighed in relief when I saw my dad xD He asked me to call his phone ASAP because he left it in the Uber that he rode. Haaiih… He always loses his phone whenever he rides taxis or the likes.)

Many of you must be wondering why I’m writing this post, when I can actually sleep and have a good night rest or study for tomorrow’s exam. Well, I kinda just woke up from an eight-hour nap, so yeah… No sleeping tonight and I have no idea what to study -_-“

To end this post, I want to say that this semester was crazy, but heck, it was the best three months of my life! Get to meet new people, get to learn new things, get to do lots of things. It may be tiring, but like usual, Allya rarely regrets her decisions and I am so not regretting my decision for volunteering myself as the president (though I became a VP). By the end of the day, no matter how tired you are, when you remember the smiles and happiness of the people around you; you’re good to go~

Tata~

 

99 Pieces of RM1

Hi hi~

These days, my wallet is fat. Like physically fat. Why? Well, this grocery store gave me a huge amount of money. A huge amount with a little value. Granted, RM99 is quite a lot.

A few days ago, I had to pick up Aqila from school but before that, I have to go to the clinic near my house because I desperately need to get rid of this ‘ketumbit’ on my right eye. Since I’m too lazy to park and also, I have to pick up Aqila ASAP because Arieq (Miel’s brother) is riding with us. That poor boy always went home late when he’s with us, that’s why I was in such a hurry.

Before going to the clinic, I told Fyo to buy that durian flavored ice cream that he liked (to keep him still in the car). Like I said, I was in a hurry, so I just reached whatever money I found on my desk. I didn’t realize that the money that I took was RM100 until Fyo gave me the change.

The ice cream was only RM1 and I get it, buying it with a RM100 note is a bit over the top. Though, seriously, giving me 99 pieces of RM1? I was like whaaaaaaat?!!!!

When I got home, I begged my parents to exchange the money with them. Of course they said no. Aqila gets monthly allowance and Arfyo is still on his post-operation break. Why in the world would they need that much RM1 notes, said them while laughing their a** off.

I was planning on shoving those money inside my panda-bank but uhhhhmmm… I need that RM99.

So that is how I ended up with a really fat wallet. It’s usually fat with a little amount of huge valued cash; it being full with RM1 is quite rare. Kahkahkah xD

I guess I’ll just bear with it for now xD RM1 is not so bad. I’m not so fond of it because it kinda cause me to spend a lot more money, y’know. I hate small changes owing to the fact of it’s little value. You rarely count those cash (unless you’re totally broke a.k.a. me at the end of the month) so you’ll spend it with no worries.

Although, when you got home, you realized that you’ve spent 50% of that little-value-money. Having a little of it is fine; imagine me spending 50% of that RM99 on probably useless things *eyes-brawling kinda cry*

Pray for me so that I will spend those small change wisely, guys.

Tata~

Giving birth…

… to a huge ‘rock’ inside the ulcer on my back. Holy sh*t it hurts so much! I just finished taking a bath and suddenly I felt a sharp stung on my back. I looked at the mirror and saw that my ulcer has finally popped.

Then, I asked my brother to call my mom. She instructed me to lay down on my stomach and she ‘tekan-tekan’ the ulcer. Oh god, I’m sooo going to take epidural when I gave birth. It hurts so much I can’t even!!!

At first, the pain was bearable but when my mom tried to pressed out that hard thingy inside the ulcer, all hell went loose. I bit my pillow ‘till it was torn. It felt like someone was slowly cutting my skin. Someone taking their time, to cut my skin as deep as possible while putting some alcohol. The torture!

I’m writing this while waiting for my class. The pain has subtle but man, I shouldn’t have wore a bra today. The ulcer was or is in line with my back bra strap. Me wanna cry TT^TT Ceh, no matter what I have to wear a bra juga, by hook or by crook. ‘3’

Alhamdulillah I’m all good now. I mean, if I can sit still studying by my own in the library for 2 hours, I must have been okay. Or not. Allya never sits down that long to study! What is wrong with you girl?!

Hey, people change~

Tata~

P.S. I wanna put the picture of those tissues and blood but mommy said no.. *pout an extra mile*