Ponderin’ on Life

Written on 11 May, 2017 at 0109h.

Hi hi~

Sooooooooooooo… I’m officially 19 today!!! Horraaaaaayyy!!! Hiks TT^TT It’s my second year celebrating my birthday far from my parents. Last year, I celebrated it in Indonesia with my grandparents and uncles and aunties and cousins from my mom’s side of the family and today I celebrate it by using McD’s Wi-Fi for free while watching extreme cheapskate with Kink while waiting for Farrel to come back home… My birthday is getting weirder and weirder by the year xD

I didn’t realize that today is my birthday until Kink suddenly wished me. My eyes were teary. Life was hectic that I don’t even remember my own birthday. He was excited, knowing he’s the first person to wish me.

Next was Farrel. She’s attending this fashion show somewhere and snuck out to wish me. Hiks! Sis terharu sangat! In the middle of that busyness, she was able to call me and wish me.

While waiting for Amyr and Farrel to come to McD (Amyr is waiting for Farrel at Sofo because she’s coming home soon), I received a message from Daryl. He wished me too. My first though was, damn its long, then I read it. Teary eyes again!!! Oddly, his messages always lift up my moods and energy. Boek bro!

Now, while writing this post, I’m waiting for Amyr and Farrel. I’m looking for a freaking plug because my laptop is dying soon. Aaah… I can see those two creatures walking towards McD, slowly like sloths.

This year may be crazy, those three are killing me, but the fact that they’re the first three to wish me made my day.

Love you three!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Today, it also makes me wonder on what I’ve been doing in life.

Have I been in a good person for the past 19 years?

Was I a good daughter, a good friend?

What mistakes have I done?

Was I cruel?

Did I forgive everyone?

The list is endless, but alhamdulillah, I know the answer to all of those questions. I may not be a good person nor a kind one, but I do know that I’m surrounded with them. I have my families, my friends, my teachers, people around me are amazing. I will not be the person who I am today without them.

They’ve shaped me. The good experience gave me happiness and the bad ones are life lessons.

The big 20 are closer than the adorable 10. I am not the only one who’s growing; my parents are getting older as well. I’m pretty sure that I’m not the best daughter people can have, but the loves that my parents give are endless. I used to hate their scolding. Like, why do you have to scold me? As I grew up, I finally found out why those scolding are important. Without them, I would have gone astray and will probably a spoiled little princess. Scolding is one of a way for our parents to show their loves. They want their children to be grow up decently, that’s why steps need to be taken.

This year, although it has only been half a year, I learnt a lot of things. It changed me. True, not all of them were happy moments, but it makes me more mature.

I hope that I can be a better person, for my parents, my family, my friends and also the society. Aamiin.

Enough with this, I have to ‘layan’ Amyr and Farrel now.


My view for the whole night. Why are you glaring at me, Kink?!



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